Work-Life Balance : How can you look at it differently?

I am not a fan of the term “work/life balance.” Why? Let’s look at the definition of balance: “a state where things are of equal weight or force.” Just as I don’t believe in the idea that we can be happy all the time, I also do not believe that we can have a schedule equally distributed between the work and life, a perfect 50-50 split. Those unrealistic terms frame us in a mindset that is judgmental and deflates our energy.

So I would like to reframe the idea of work-life “balance,” I see work-life balance as energy. Energy is always moving, shifting, and changing. This is why it is not an uneven percentage that frustrates us, but rather our choices: what do we say yes to, and what do we say no to.

When we say yes to too many things, we start feeling like we don’t have control of our time and where we spend it. We feel as though we are spending our time on the wrong things. When we say yes to everything, we don’t feel accomplished or fulfilled or happy: we give more to others and there is no time left for what we need/want to do.

When we experience balance there is a sense of control, and we feel fulfilled and accomplished.  

There are two main areas where I find that it is helpful for my clients and me to achieve more balance in life and feel a sense of control.

1.     Pay attention to your choices – what do you say yes to and what do you say no to.

Saying NO - Sometimes when I head for a quick stop at the supermarket, I look at the big cart or the shopping basket and disregard them “I am only getting milk and bread” I tell myself. But then I pass by the fruit section and see a delightful pack of green grapes that I know my kids enjoy, and then I pass by the cans isle and grab two tomato sauce cans, “It can be a good idea for dinner tonight.” Like my supermarket juggling, having too many things in my hands knowing that in a moment everything will fall down, we do the same with life and work. We say yes to too many things and then we are surprised why we have no time left for what we want or need to do.

If we flip the coin, in his book Essentialism, Greg McKeown, mentions that before we say yes, we need to take a step back and ask ourselves: “What is the main thing I want to see on the path I am walking toward? Is what I am doing essential to reaching my long-term goals or self-care?”
Saying Yes to the “right” things – business, distractions, reactive-fixing problems mentality along the day- makes us forget to take a step back and ask ourselves: “Where are my organization and I heading? What are the small goals we need to take in order to head there?”
Asking these questions will move us from saying yes to the wrong things. Sometimes we say yes to the wrong things because it feels that saying yes to that would be easy to accomplish (especially when it is complicated for others), or maybe because it is comfortable for us. Not only those wrong yeses take us nowhere. They have no value and distract us from seeing the results we want. Yeses should not be the easy and comfortable path, but the ones that will help us grow and bring value to our career and life path.

2.     Design your boundariesMy client once said to me, “As a Human Resources manager, it feels like there is always someone asking me questions, and now, with my newest team member on the team, it is really hard for me to get things done.” In her role like many roles that cater to others’ needs, her door was always open: figuratively, and literally. It was hard to get to the point where she could sit quietly and focus on doing her work, planning, designing, even answering emails. Her days became longer and she arrived home too late to enjoy her two toddlers.

The open-door policy is important in communicating to others that you are accessible and available to support them, but for some people, especially the givers, the ones who are always willing to stop everything they do and help others, they find that there is no time left to accomplish their work. This is when they get in trouble, some will even become bitter and resentful. My client felt this way.
“Can I say that from listening to you it sounds that you have some challenges with boundaries?” She nodded in agreement and replied:  “Yes, I feel it is hard for me to say no with my words and actions to others.”  I asked her to physically draw how the boundary line between her and others looks. “Ha!” she smiled, “as uncomfortable as it is admitted to you, I have no line, at times it might be a very thin line, maybe even dotted – that’s why I never get to do anything, I communicate to people that they can take my time and attention whenever they want.”
We worked together to draw the different boundary lines she wanted to have with different people and in different situations. “You know,” she said, reporting back to me in the next session, “I learned that those lines were meant for me and not for other people. The moment I had them in my head I was able to say no to people or ask them to come back in 2 hours when I am done working on the monthly report. It was actually liberating.”

Whether you feel low-energy because you focus on the wrong goals or spend your time first on others with none left for yourself, take ten minutes to sit down and answer the questions:

1. What are some actions you are saying yes to because they are easy or comfortable, but bring you no value (non-essential)?

2. What are the actions you want to focus on? They might be less easy, maybe not as fun, and maybe even scary but will take you to where you want to be.

3. Are you juggling too many things in your hands right now? Maybe it is time to bring a shopping cart and move some of the things there? You can do that by delegating (to your family or employees), Or you can choose to put things back on the shelf - they are not needed right now and you can buy them at another time.

Remember the key to balanced energy is your ability to make hard choices of what stays and what goes. Does it always bring you joy? No, is it essential? I hope so.
What can you learn from your answers to these questions?

Not a fan of networking? Here are Seven Reasons why you should add Networking to your year goals.

“Have you considered Networking?” How many of you made the same face my clients or others make when I ask them this question?

 I know, I know, there are rare people, somewhat like the lions in the savannah that when I ask the Networking question answer with joy and spark in the eyes: “I love networking, bring it on!” Yes, there are a few of those, but many people do not enjoy networking.

 In this article, I would like to invite you to consider a new way of approaching networking. A new intention to how you approach networking if I can suggest.

A few weeks ago one of my clients burst into a long monologue about how much they hate networking. Hate it with passion. I get it. Believe me, I do. I didn’t like to network too and I am an extrovert…Here are the main buts I hear again and again from people and how you can overcome them.

1. “But I am an introvert…”Most people who don’t like to network feel that networking is about a shallow conversation, and if you are one of the people who define themselves or the assessment defines you as an introvert you probably will say: “But I am an introvert, I am just not good with networking.”
   If you have no idea what is all the introversion extroversion conversation let me sum it up. Introverts are the ones who get energy from being alone and take time for internal processing before they talk, while extroverts get energy from being with others and process their thoughts while talking out loud. Now, some people got this all introvert idea wrong, introverts are not shy people, many of them are leaders and speaker. I see the difference between the introverts and extroverts as energy. Extroverts get energy from being with others while extroverts give to others their energy. What it means is that if you are an introvert, it is not that you are bad at networking, you just need to take time afterward to be alone and recharge since you gave a lot of your energy to others.

2. But I don’t like the feeling of selling myself When I started my coaching business I remember telling others that there is a big distinction between selling a product or service of others you believe in and selling yourself to others. This is an experience people have when they seek a job or when they need to sell their services as the owners and soulpreneur.
   When we enter a room with this mindset and the assumption that what we need to focus on is selling ourselves we feel uncomfortable. But here is one of the most important points I have learned from people who are successful in networking.
   The people who are successful in networking don’t sell ANYTHING when they talk with you they focus on listening to you so they can bring YOU value. So focus on having a conversation and get to know the other person., get curious about them, ask them questions and if you listen well you will also be able to bring them value.

3. But if I listen and ask questions how can others know what I do or looking for?Before I answer this question, let me ask you another question (this is what coaches do very well). When you come to a networking event or a meeting with another person, and the person who you are meeting with is talking about themselves for a big portion of the meeting, how does it feel?
   When I ask these questions in a big room, I always get the same answers:

   • I feel unheard and invisible.

   • I think that they are using me to get what they want, but they don’t care about me.

   • They only care about their pitch they don’t care about people.

   In the end, we all want others to listen to our wants and needs. We want to be seen, be heard, and acknowledged. Challenge yourself to keep asking questions until you learn something interesting about them and maybe even to identify what are the points that connect the two of you. This is a good way to share your story from their needs and create a deeper connection that brings value to both sides.

4. But I am better at one-on-one meetingsExactly! I am better with one on one conversations too. And this is also your goal at networking events: to identify the people at the networking event that you would like to meet with them afterward. because from what you have learned about them you can bring value to each other and even form partnerships. And yes! at times you will choose to meet just because you felt there is more to the conversation even though you know right now nothing will get out of it more than friendship, but friends can become your best referrals in the long term. Remember, networking is a long term game, don’t play the short run.

5. But if I spend so much time with a few people how can I reach as many as possible so they can help me?In the end, no one will help you if they don’t know you. People help people they know and trust. It is rare for a stranger to help you find a job, or support your business if they don’t know you. Ask yourself how likely are you to recommend someone on your running group who you meet and chat with twice a week vs. a person you met for a quick 5 minutes’ conversation in a networking event? This is why I teach my clients to attend the same groups consistently. There are many groups you can join or volunteer with; Meet Up is a great place to find your people. If you like to workout find a workout group if you have a hobby join a group of people who share your passion. If you have the time I would suggest volunteering with an organization, there is no better way to get to know people and leaders in the organization and your community than volunteering with a committee, the board, or other projects. As I mentioned earlier, networking is a long-run game, people who know you, see you every week and feel as you invested in them will invest in you and help you when the day comes because they know you, not because they met you once. Remember when you enter a networking event it is not about being a social butterfly; leaving with the largest number of business cards or meeting the most people in the room will not give you an advantage. On the contrary, it will harm you. What will bring value is your willingness to focus on giving value to others.

6. But it is tiring for me to meet so many people.If the idea of meeting so many people in a networking event sounds daunting, exhausting, and frustrating, here is a tip I share with my clients and my audience: “There is no networking police in networking events.” Let me suggest a different approach, rather than meeting all the people in the room and having short and non-meaningful conversations, go into a room and find one or two people that you can have a deep and meaningful conversation. After you had that experience, if you feel that your energy is low, go.
   Yes, I give you permission to go.
   Remember, no one is there to report your short attendance or how many people you met.

7. But I don’t need it I work in the same company for so many years…And one day you won’t, or you will not want to work in that company anymore. Here is the deal, finding a job is first and foremost about connections, whether if it is for a new opportunity in the company you work or in another organization. If we don’t take time to invest in these relationships when the day comes we will find that opportunities go to the peers that invested their time in networking with other leaders and members in the organization and beyond. Again - people help, support, refer people they know and trust if people don’t know you and trust you inside or outside the organization they will need to refer you, or introduce you or advocate for your success. Don’t wait like many of my clients until it is too late, it is NEVER too late to network even if you work in a company; Volunteer inside your company to support an initiative of interest, volunteer as a board member in an organization of interest or a professional association, join a mastermind group or join a group that can help you work on your skills like ‘toastmasters club’ (a speaking club). There are many ways to network even when you work full time.

You can see that there are many buts, but I believe and also see from the conversations with my clients and groups that the more they work on the muscle of networking the more energy they have to network with people. The more they network with the focus in mind on bringing value to others, the more opportunities and relationships they see for themselves and beyond.

External and Internal Accountability - How Can You Stay Accountable to Your Goals?

OKRS, KPIs, Business goals, personal growth goals, team goals, sales goals; we all know that it is important to take the time for some individual/team internal check-in and ask ourselves what are the things we need to let go of, and what are the things we want to sustain and keep doing,
We understand the importance of moving forward and achieving our goals, but the main challenge is, how can we hold ourselves accountable to achieve the goal we set for ourselves? 

 The article's primary goal is to give you the tools to stay accountable for the things you say you will do as individuals or teams. This article can also help a manager (and even a parent) to support direct reports who can't deliver on what they have, accepting responsibility for the progress, whether it is a success or failure. 

 Work with you, not against you!

Let me start by saying that most of us don't see the results we want because we work against ourselves. We see what others do and get upset with not being able to do what they do. Not only do we focus on beating ourselves up, but we are also stuck and don't see a movement. So let's start with a quick awareness that can help you let go of the burden.

 External Accountability vs. Internal Accountability.
In her Assessment – the Four Tendencies, Gretchen Rubin, explains our tendency to expectations. One crucial point you can take from her idea is that we have internal/inner or Outer/external accountability.

• External accountability – is our need to be accountable to someone else so we can achieve goals. You are motivated to achieve your goals with another person. According to Rubin, most of the population is motivated by outer expectations. How do you know if this is you?

  • If you are one of the people who ask: "Why is it so easy for me to deliver on my promises to my family/friends/team/clients, but it is challenging to deliver on my personal goals?" you are motivated by external accountability.

  • What will encourage you more to work out? Paying membership to the gym, or knowing that your friend is waiting for you at 5 am outside the gym to join them? If it is the latter, then - you are motivated by external accountability. 

• Inner accountability – you can set goals and achieve them yourself; you don't need others to achieve your goals. How do you know it is you? You will start your day with a list and achieve most of what you wrote on the list by the end of the day.

 When you understand your motivation, you can design the system you need to create to achieve your goals.  Here are a few ways to design your system without going against your tendencies – experiment with the different methods, and feel free to reach out to me and share great ways that worked for you that you would like to add to this list!

External Accountability: You need to find partners that will help you stay accountable to your goals or desires. Here are a few different ways to establish these partnerships and make sure you are on the right path for you and your accountability partner. 

•  1:1 Accountability Partnerships - An accountability partner/partnership is with someone who helps you to achieve your goals. Like any relationship, you need to find the person who will be committed to the process. There are different accountability partnerships. Some are paid for their time like a performance coach, or personal trainer, while many establish a relationship meant to support each other on needed goals. Let's review a few options of accountability partnerships:

  • Accountability Partner for business/leadership/personal growth– my accountability partner and I meet once a week to discuss our weekly business goals, business challenges, and aspirations. When a challenge or opportunity arises, this is our safe space to consult with each other, brainstorm ideas, and help each other become our better selves. Some even sign a confidentiality agreement. 

  • Specific Accountability Partnerships – this is a partnership to achieve a particular goal for a limited time, like Weight loss, meal planning, work on a specific project like writing a book, filming videos, and much more. 

    Whether it's face to face or remotely, there are many ways to work with an accountability partner; some will state the task they would like to achieve during the meeting, then each one will work on their task. Others can focus on their discussions on progress, challenges, and goal setting. There isn't a right way; there is only your way and your aligned needs.

  • Pets – yes! We don't always need another human friend to help us stay accountable. Pets can be excellent accountability partners to a specific task. Whether you want to start running, walk every day, or BE more present with your life. I have many clients who realized that having a pet helped them meet a specific need.

  • Social Media – A few years ago, after I went on my run, I posted my first "On The Run" video, letting everyone know that from now on, every time I run, I will post a video. Putting it out there made me accountable for this project and posting videos for more than two years after I run. If you know putting out a specific task can help you with your goals – put it out there – why not?

• Groups – the same way some prefer the one-to-one partnership; some like group accountability with more space for reflection and different perspectives.

  • Mastermind Group - There are many definitions or ways of setting up a mastermind group. I see it as an opportunity for a group of people to share perspectives, encourage each other, and help each other grow. I wanted to have conversations with diverse leaders and business owners from different business areas and views. The main thing that connects us all is our desire to be challenged by others, a willingness for a new perspective, and a deep want to grow as people. It is impressive to see the changes that each of us went through since we started this group, and this is one of my favorite meetings each month. Something is compelling about knowing that others have the same challenges as you, and their visions, creations, and willingness to share are incredibly inspiring. Everyone finds value in these conversations and, most importantly, a new perspective of how they saw their personal or work situation. The most exciting thing was to see how everyone would leave the room with a boost of energy, no matter how they stepped into the room.

  • Group Coaching is an opportunity to take the foundations of one-to-one coaching and move them to a group setting with a coach who holds group coaching facilitation skills. During the meetings, the group explores preferred topics, and at the end of each session, the members state how they are going to keep working on the topic. At the beginning of each meeting, the members report back to the group on their progress. The main difference between group coaching and a mastermind group is that group coaching requires a coach's facilitation. In contrast, a mastermind group can discuss topics without having a coach who facilitates the conversation.

  • Online groups – from social media groups to apps like noom and Fitbit, many have the option of online discussions and even coaches/mentors and group facilitators that can help the group process and share their thoughts, challenges, and resources. Find the group you can share your goals and get group support. 

Design the relationship agreement - Remember, like any relationship, to establish a partnership, you need to discuss with your potential accountability partner how this partnership is going to look and what you both need to do and be to stay committed and accountable to the process. It is not easy to find the right person, but it can help you feel supported and accomplished when you do.

 To learn more and prepare for this conversation, I have created a special document you can download here and support you through this conversation.

 Internal Accountability:

People who feel motivated by internal expectations do not need an accountability partner, but there are many other ways to help them achieve their goals. Here are a few creative ways:

• Stacking – if there is something you want to do, make sure you connect it with another action. For example, when I want to go on a run first thing in the morning, I will prepare the workout clothes the night before. This way, when I wake up in the morning, I have no excuses not to go on my run.

• Gamification – most internally motivated people like competition. If it is right for you, too, you can look at your weekly goals and give each goal a score. The more challenging the goal is, the higher the score will be. For example, writing an email is 1 point, while if networking is something you are trying to avoid – doing this task, you will give yourself 20 points. Competitive people will feel when they see their score going higher and higher each week. It takes some planning but can be very helpful to achieve goals you are trying to avoid. 

What are systems you can identify you already created unconsciously in your life to achieve goals and stay accountable?
As you can see, your outer or inner accountabilities play a significant role in achieving your goals. – find the system that works for you- remember, don't do it their way – do it YOUR way. 

 Are there other systems you have created to stay accountable?

Five Shorts - October - Puppies, Fall and the Wisdom of Resistance

Short 1 - The Wisdom of Resistance
Procrastination? Excuses? Laziness? Here is what I have learned from pushing back on those notions from my clients. Most of them are not lazy; when we take a moment to listen to the wisdom of resistance, it always has something wise to say. So why we don't move? Mostly it is when we don't have clarity about the purpose and meaning of what we are doing or asked to do. Until you understand the purpose or get clarity on what you want to create, sitting in front of this task and making yourself do it will move you nowhere.
Check this video to learn more about this idea.
 
 

Short 2 - Books, Books, Books
When I published my book, my desire to read returned. I promised myself to read at least one or two books each month. Right now, I am reading

• The Heart of Buddha's Teaching, Thich Nhat Hann – it was time to deep dive and understand better the foundations of Buddhism; I like how simple this book is.

• The Color of Water, James McBride - recommended by my daughter. A real story being told by the black son of an orthodox mother. Expressing a black child's identity crisis beautifully and a young man without a father in a challenging reality of courageous mothers goes against so many norms.

• Stretch, unlock the power of less by Scott Sonenshein – are you a chaser? In the last few months, I work on experiencing more joy, and one of the biggest realizations was that the question "What's Next?" needs to move away; it is time to stay and appreciate where I am and being more resourceful with what we have.

Short 3 - Is It Bad?
My older sister said something a few weeks ago that stuck with me. Like any sister's conversation, we always have the kids segment: "How are the kids doing?" we ask each other. I told her that I am worried about the kids. They don't have enough social interaction. "I don't think it is such a big deal," my sister said, "our kids learn now how to be resilient; we made life too easy for them. Our life as kids was not that easy so that they will have a good lesson from this season in their life."
It made me look at my kids differently. I see my kids appreciating socializing with their friends more; they enjoy spending time with my husband and me.
I see them enjoying the virtual learning and creating their schedule for a whole day with ease. I can see each of them where the struggle is, and I challenge them to work through it rather than solve it for them. I want them to know that I am always there for them, but they are creative and resourceful, and after this experience, they will be even more.

Short 4 - Connect Two
Do you wish you had more time? Do you wish you were able to achieve more goals in your long to-do list? I don't have a long list, but I keep some goals consistently as my weekly goal. For years I have: a meeting with a friend once a week. Yep. This is a long term weekly goal. Another weekly goal is 4-5 times a week to work out and even no workout day to recharge and chill.
But what do we do when there is a new goal? How do we incorporate the new ones with the current ones? My secret is connecting two.

• Meet a friend and walk

• Be with my kids and workout

• Listen to podcasts or audiobook while cooking or doing puzzles

• I invite my clients to walk during our coaching sessions

What are your Connect Two? Share your tips.

Short 5 - Adventure Anyone?
What brings you joy? One of the things that bring me joy are little adventures. When I lived in Brooklyn, my favorite thing was to go with the kids (or alone) on an adventure. We hopped on the Subway train, and when we got off the train, the adventures had always found us. Every Sunday morning, my husband and I go on a long walk. It became our COVID tradition, but with a decision to let go of date nights, one Sunday morning, I asked him if he feels like heading to a coffee shop and get something after the walk. We got back home from the walk, got into the car, and off we went. The next week Saturday night, I saw on Instagram that a new coffee shop is opening; what's going on? So many new coffee shops that are opening during COVID19? Maybe it is a way for us to support new businesses while doing what we both love, drinking coffee? And that's how our new adventure started, every Sunday we go on a long walk and then check a coffee shop new or old that we haven't checked before. It is our special time, and it feels like an adventure. Our adventure.
Here are a few of the coffee shops we checked until now;
Here
and
Here
and
Here
For more check my Instagram Feed.

My Latest Social Media Video - Puppies?  
Check my latest social media video with my son Idan; he explains the connection between pace, progress, and puppies.

Check it here

Walking Mastermind
Walking mastermind is back, you are welcome to join us
November 6th, 10am-11am EST everyone is welcome.
RSVP Here

The COVID-19 New Reality Guide #4 When Things Will Go Back to Normal…(?)

“I just can’t keep going with this constant change; I can’t wait for things to go back to normal. I feel overwhelmed with taking care of little kids and the changing strategy at work, I wouldn’t say I like change, I like stability. Until I felt like I am catching up with things, every day, I wake up to my manager, letting me know we pivot again. I am just tired and can’t wait for things going back to normal.”

Oh! Change.

Part of my career experience was to take organizations through change. When everyone was feeling as the ground underneath their feet was shaking, I was there excited to take them to the other side of the road, not back to normal.

But there is the Noa who loves helping people and organization go through change; she thrives when she leads teams through change. This Noa feels focused, grounded, strategic, and agile. I know how to work and pivot fast, and it is actually pure fun for me. Indeed, many of my clients thrive right now, and I can even use the word fun regarding how they feel with how they show up in this constant environment. They are sharp, fast, and people trust them and follow them.

Yet, in my personal life it feels as in the last 15 years my life pivot constantly, I can admit and say that every time I thought I could control my life and I will not need to slow down any more for family reasons and at last, can move into full steam with my business, something showed up. First, we had to relocate again, and then I had to establish my coaching business in a new state. Then my husband had to travel more for work, which impacted my schedule, and last we had family issues that required my attention. With the last health issue, my relationship with “When – Then” stopped. What I mean by when-then is that you create in your head a belief that when things are different, then you can achieve what you want. This is a common belief we have with achieving goals, we believe that when we reach a specific goal, we will feel happy, but when we meet the goal – it is doesn’t fill as happy or fulfilling as we expected.

The family health situation was the universe's cruel way of teaching me that life will never fit my needs. Period. Holding on this self-limiting belief was a waste of time, and mostly not being able to achieve what I wanted the way I wanted to make me beyond frustrated. Yep, as I always say, I take my time to learn what the universe is trying to teach me. Still, from the other side of the learning curve, my learning was there would never be a “perfectly normal” things might improve or look different, but I can't recall a time in my life they went back to the same normal - and what is even that normal anyway?  

So if like my when-then clients (and the “waiting-Noa), you scan your life in this COVID-19 reality and tell yourself, or others: “when things will go back to normal, then I will feel different,” here are a few things I want to share with you from my learning and the work with my clients during this reality: 

Waiting will not serve you

 When you tell yourself and others that when things go back to normal, then everything will be fine - what you are doing is expanding the time of feeling frustration and self petty. You extend the waiting.

Anxiety loves waiting

But wait! Isn’t waiting is choosing to be patient? Waiting is actually about not making any decision, and with that, you feel as you are stuck and not move into any action. We humans like having a sense of purpose and feeling stuck can be very frustrating. 

Why planning works?

 Here is the deal, when we wait, w take on no action, which keeps us in the not knowing. Anxiety and other overwhelming emotions live very well when you have no plan. With no plan, they take over your show of the worry and self-judgment: "what will happen?" "when things will go back to normal?" "why can I be flexible like others?". Making a decision not to wait and designing a plan of how your feelings, thoughts, and actions can look like right now in this reality without losing it is stop waiting. It can be a short term plan - how am I feeling better tomorrow or this week, it doesn't need to be for the next month; anyway we don't know how things will look like in a month. But here is then thing, choosing to stop waiting and moving into a plan makes you feel empowered when you feel empowered, you feel resourceful again, and creativity shows up, and with that, you will stop feeling stuck.

What is even normal? 

Stories - we tend to feel and think that everything before was much better than how things are right now. But with so many variables, no one knows how life is going to look like when lock-down ends. I am not saying it can’t happen, but have you considered the possibility that things will never go back to the old normal? Have you considered that even the word normal is kind of 'off' right now? 

So how can you move from waiting to designing a short term or longer plan to support how you feel, think, and act right now so you can lower worry, frustration, and even anxiety levels and feel more empowered, creative and seeing results?

The Guide For Your New Reality @Covid-19 Era: #1 Working From Home With Kids

A few days ago, an executive with young children decided not to cancel our coaching call even though his kids were on his laps, while his wife was taking a conference call with clients in the home office. "I am sorry," he said, "it was the choice between canceling our call or the choice of taking the time with you to recover, get clarity and get your help preparing for a challenging conversation right after our call. So I decided to keep our session with my kids in the background - I hope you understand. I am really sorry." I do understand.

As a professional coach, I get to hear the two sides of the coin: how managers experience a situation and how employees experience it, and there is a lot of learning that I think is essential to share with you. I believe that not only our life is changing now, but it will also impact on how we do things afterward and how the "new normal" will look like when life "go back to normal." This is why I decided to create the SOS series of articles that can help you cope and get a new perspective on your work and life challenges in the covid-19 reality.

"I am sorry," 

So like many others, in the past few weeks, many of my clients shifted their calls with me or meeting in-person to remote calls from home. I see clients who need to share office space with their partner; I see clients who work from their living room next to their toddler's rug filled with toys, I see clients who have to talk with me while their kids are playing and asking them a question, or crying because they don't want to take a nap. An apology always follows the kids (or pets) interruptions. Don't they know I understand?

We Are in a Grace Period

If you are one of those parents that work from home, sharing the office with your partner, your pets, and your kids. Stop feeling that you need to apologize when your kids make noise or sit on your lap, or when you forgot to unmute yourself when you yelled at them to be quiet. Yes, before some of those behaviors were "unprofessional," but this is a time of grace. What do I mean by that? 

Most managers care. Most of my executives' clients care for their people. They take the time to think with me how they can help their people, how they can make sure their people feel supported, what is the best way to communicate with their people without being over-controlling, and even how they can create space for their people so they don't feel overwhelmed.

This IS a Time of Change

Do you feel not professional because your kids need attention and food rather than sitting all day long in front of their screens? This is not easy, but what if we reframe "not professional" and realize that part of our roles as parents is to be professional with our kids too? They need care, running outside, and even some structure. We feel that this is just a temporary situation. Still, I believe that the sentence: "This is how we do business" is breaking into little pieces and will challenge companies and organizations to listen to their people who will demand a new reality that will not go back to the old normal. Things will change after this change. Look around, all the "right" ways of doing things are fading, and suddenly almost everyone is okay with getting messy and moving processes fast to make things work even if not in a perfect way.

Here are a few steps you can take to help yourself or your team feel better about working from home with kids:

Managers:

1. Can You Imagine this? Many couples are sharing one office space with their partner who works too. It is not easy with babysitters or grandparents are out of the question. As one of my c-suite clients shared with me: "I have piles of dishes in my kitchen, piles of laundry, I didn't get to the supermarket, and after my workday ends I need to take care of the house, I am so tired and have no support system."

2. Reality check - I don't believe kids will go back to school this year, how long do you think kids can sit in front of the screens with no attention?

3. Let them know - don't assume your working parents think you understand, mostly they don't. So let them know.

4. Let them know again - Pick up the phone and ask how they are doing.

5. Design the new reality - ask your people what do they need. It is okay to ask for some structure, but make sure to design it in a way that works for both sides and that you have tangible steps.

6. Say Thank You - let them know you see they are making an effort.
   

Parents:

1. Stop apologizing and give yourself permission to be a parent - you are not alone; you didn't choose to work this way, nor have this reality.

2. Talk to your manager and find a win-win- if your manager didn't say anything and you feel like you should have a conversation, let them know that you need some understanding. Maybe there is a way for you to design together a flexible time that suits your personal needs and working goals.