The Change Formula (DoXBe^3=Change)

Why? Let me explain the parts of the formula I designed:

DOING aND BEING ENERGIES

I believe we all have two energies within:

The Doing Energy is the energy of actions, everything we need to do, the constant planning of moving forward – the just do it. 

 We all know how to do; we actually learned to focus on doing as kids when we heard the adults telling us: "Be a good boy clean up your room," or "be a good girl do your schoolwork." We learned early on that actions are what makes us seen as good, so we act. Let's face it; doers are the ones who are being seen, and mostly the ones who are promoted.

But! There is a certain point that actions alone are not working for us anymore.

This is where we need to pay attention to the Being Energy.

The Being energy consists of our mindset, emotions, thoughts, hopes, dreams, and concerns.

The Doing and Being energies don't compete with each other –– I see them as two energies that complete each other. Paying attention to the Being while doing create new actions that can take us up to the sky or slow us down, and even make us feel stuck. I like to explain that through sports. You can have two Tennis players with the same set of skills; the one who wins the game is the one that engages knows how to use to their advantage the being energy. They practice a mindset that manages non-serving thoughts and emotions and utilizes those that can help them win.

C H A N G E

Whether it is positive or negative, the deal with change is that change brings a flow of emotions and thoughts – why? The feelings and thoughts all come from the same inner want we have in a time of change – the need to redefine ourselves in the new situation or reality – we need clarity:

• Who am I going to be in this change?

• What will happen to me?

• What will happen to my organization?

• Am I going to lose?

• Am I going to win?

• Am I going to be forgotten?

• Am I going to be seen?

• Now there are expectations from me – what if I fail?

• Why do others leave? Should I be concerned?

• Why is there so much uncertainty and change? Does that mean that our organization/leadership is not stable enough?

• Is this time the change is going to be different?

• And for some, it is just a simple hope: maybe this will be the last change?

** Note – The same need to define ourselves in a new situation shows up when you are promoted from a team member to team lead when you get married or get divorced when you move to another country or start a new job.

Back to the formula round #2:

I found that the formula is a more straightforward tool to help teams and individuals redefine their way of being and doing in a time of change and what is missing for them to feel different.

So let's look at the formula again:

Do – our actions 

Be^3 – I broke the being energy into three main e’s

- emotions

• Do we experience negative emotions?

• Do we experience positive emotions?

• Do we feel overwhelmed with our feelings?

• Do we feel excited?

Our emotions impact our energy, thoughts, and mindset that will affect how we show up with our actions.

- expectations

• Our high or low expectations will influence our emotions and our actions.

- energy

• Is your energy is high or low?

  • Suppose your energy is high good news! You have momentum, and my recommendation for you is to go! Influence and inspire others to join your vision.

  • If your energy is low, you don't inspire. Inspiration comes from the phrase – in spirit, in light. When you don't inspire, you are missing the spark. Mostly it is because you lack connection and clarity with your purpose and vision, which makes it hard for people to follow or feel inspired by you. If you identify that this is your experience, ask help from your manager, a mentor, or a coach to better understand your why.

As with driving a car, each component in the formula –– from the gas handle to how much gas you have in the tank can impact how far the car can go. 

Back to the formula round #3:

Doing - When we push firmly with our actions, it doesn't mean that we will see the change we want faster. While we focus on activities, some people would feel that we run too fast; it could be that their emotions and/or expectations are not aligned with our vision, and therefore their energy is low. In this situation, the more people share the same energy, expectations, and emotions, the more chances they will slow us down. It will be helpful to address the Being of the system as I call it.

Being – when as a group of individuals we all share the same emotions about the change, we can move closer to drama or low energy, and this way, our ability to move into actions can be scarce.

When we understand the formula, it can create a language for us to share where we are and invite courageous conversations with each other.

Creating Awareness through Courageous Conversations:

People slow you down or trying to stop you when you lead a change? 
Invite a conversation to understand where they see a gap or have concerns, don't ignore their being energy.

Have you noticed most of the team thinking and slow to make decisions?
 This formula can give you the language and opportunity to invite the team to see that we are in our thoughts and being, and there is no much conversation to move to action.
A great place to start is asking the team: "What is one first step we can take with the data we already have?"

Have you noticed your team running fast, maybe even too quickly? Do you feel that it is hard for you to catch up with all the planning?
Take a moment to invite the team to lean back – doers don't like to slow down, but they like the invitation to take a moment and think through. Let me tell you a secret, even if it will be hard to admit - they love it, and I know because I am a doer ;-)

Remember, in each meeting and moment of the day, the room is filled with different emotions, thoughts, expectations, and energy; even from one meeting to another, you can find yourself being and doing differently.

To learn more about the change formula and how you can establish courageous conversations at your organization reach out to Noa Ronen. Noa enCourages leaders and their teams in companies that experience constant growth to challenge the way they think and communicate in the reality of constant change.

Five Shorts - October - Puppies, Fall and the Wisdom of Resistance

Short 1 - The Wisdom of Resistance
Procrastination? Excuses? Laziness? Here is what I have learned from pushing back on those notions from my clients. Most of them are not lazy; when we take a moment to listen to the wisdom of resistance, it always has something wise to say. So why we don't move? Mostly it is when we don't have clarity about the purpose and meaning of what we are doing or asked to do. Until you understand the purpose or get clarity on what you want to create, sitting in front of this task and making yourself do it will move you nowhere.
Check this video to learn more about this idea.
 
 

Short 2 - Books, Books, Books
When I published my book, my desire to read returned. I promised myself to read at least one or two books each month. Right now, I am reading

• The Heart of Buddha's Teaching, Thich Nhat Hann – it was time to deep dive and understand better the foundations of Buddhism; I like how simple this book is.

• The Color of Water, James McBride - recommended by my daughter. A real story being told by the black son of an orthodox mother. Expressing a black child's identity crisis beautifully and a young man without a father in a challenging reality of courageous mothers goes against so many norms.

• Stretch, unlock the power of less by Scott Sonenshein – are you a chaser? In the last few months, I work on experiencing more joy, and one of the biggest realizations was that the question "What's Next?" needs to move away; it is time to stay and appreciate where I am and being more resourceful with what we have.

Short 3 - Is It Bad?
My older sister said something a few weeks ago that stuck with me. Like any sister's conversation, we always have the kids segment: "How are the kids doing?" we ask each other. I told her that I am worried about the kids. They don't have enough social interaction. "I don't think it is such a big deal," my sister said, "our kids learn now how to be resilient; we made life too easy for them. Our life as kids was not that easy so that they will have a good lesson from this season in their life."
It made me look at my kids differently. I see my kids appreciating socializing with their friends more; they enjoy spending time with my husband and me.
I see them enjoying the virtual learning and creating their schedule for a whole day with ease. I can see each of them where the struggle is, and I challenge them to work through it rather than solve it for them. I want them to know that I am always there for them, but they are creative and resourceful, and after this experience, they will be even more.

Short 4 - Connect Two
Do you wish you had more time? Do you wish you were able to achieve more goals in your long to-do list? I don't have a long list, but I keep some goals consistently as my weekly goal. For years I have: a meeting with a friend once a week. Yep. This is a long term weekly goal. Another weekly goal is 4-5 times a week to work out and even no workout day to recharge and chill.
But what do we do when there is a new goal? How do we incorporate the new ones with the current ones? My secret is connecting two.

• Meet a friend and walk

• Be with my kids and workout

• Listen to podcasts or audiobook while cooking or doing puzzles

• I invite my clients to walk during our coaching sessions

What are your Connect Two? Share your tips.

Short 5 - Adventure Anyone?
What brings you joy? One of the things that bring me joy are little adventures. When I lived in Brooklyn, my favorite thing was to go with the kids (or alone) on an adventure. We hopped on the Subway train, and when we got off the train, the adventures had always found us. Every Sunday morning, my husband and I go on a long walk. It became our COVID tradition, but with a decision to let go of date nights, one Sunday morning, I asked him if he feels like heading to a coffee shop and get something after the walk. We got back home from the walk, got into the car, and off we went. The next week Saturday night, I saw on Instagram that a new coffee shop is opening; what's going on? So many new coffee shops that are opening during COVID19? Maybe it is a way for us to support new businesses while doing what we both love, drinking coffee? And that's how our new adventure started, every Sunday we go on a long walk and then check a coffee shop new or old that we haven't checked before. It is our special time, and it feels like an adventure. Our adventure.
Here are a few of the coffee shops we checked until now;
Here
and
Here
and
Here
For more check my Instagram Feed.

My Latest Social Media Video - Puppies?  
Check my latest social media video with my son Idan; he explains the connection between pace, progress, and puppies.

Check it here

Walking Mastermind
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The Guide For Your New Reality #2 - And I Guess That's Why They Call It the Social Distancing Blues...

My client was delighted, in the past few sessions, her goal was to see how can she convince the organization to let her work from home. 

"Noa, I am so happy," she said, "not about the COVID-19, I am freaking out about it, but at last I can work from home. 

Many don't share the same experience as my client. They miss the human connection; they miss going to make coffee with another team member or catching up with a peer while waiting for everyone to join them in the meeting room.

"I love the energy in the room when we brainstorm in the meeting room together. It doesn't feel the same when we do it remotely," this is what a manager told me a few months ago when his work shifted to leading his team remotely. He was lost and lonely, mentally, and physically.

Feeling Alone

For me, experiencing social distancing ­right now is not the first time. Actually, I felt this way for quite a long time when I relocated to the US. Why am I sharing this with you? Many people feel a sense of isolation for the first time when they go through relocation. I say that not only because of my own personal experience but also from working with many expatriates-executives and expat families in the past 10 years. The feeling of loneliness is actually familiar in a time of change. Before the transition, we think we know how the new situation is going to look like, still, in reality, it looks different than how we envisioned it. Not knowing how to behave in this unexpected situation, we find ourselves in makes us feel a lack of control, and many of us will move inwardly and isolate themselves.

You see, when you move from one country to another (or even from one state to another), you leave behind your family, friends, and your social networking. In a split second, you lose all your support. From working full time and having child care or the grandparents picking up my older son from the nursery school, I was all alone. From a full-time executive, I became a stay at home mom who was with two toddlers and no real adult conversation. It took me a while to build again my friends' circle, which is not an easy task when you are in your thirties. I remember talking to my life coach and sobbing about how lonely I feel.

But in the second round, I approached the relocation to Raleigh, NC, differently. After making many mistakes with my first relocation, I felt equipped. Still, I was willing to accept that re-rooting our family and being part of a new community will take longer, even a few years.

Here are a few learnings from my relocation experience that can help you navigate through the social distancing blues.

1. Don't Isolate yourself more than you already are. One of the most significant learnings I had is how easy it is to isolate ourselves unconsciously when we feel lost or out of control. It is a hidden focus that misleads our actions. This is why I believe it is essential you set the alarm to go every day outdoors. The research shows that nature has the ability to heal our soul and shift our mindset even with mental health. Walk, run, skip, bike, sit in the sun, or work in the garden (far away from your electronics) - I am a big believer that nature can help us feel grounded and centered. Especially in times when we feel a lack of control. When we feel grounded and connected with ourselves, we find the energy to connect with others.

2. Talk with people don't text. Living in a different time zone brought another challenge: how do I find a time that works to speak with my family and friends. Not having a voice or video conversation with the family and friends while being all day long with the kids didn’t help with my loneliness. We have enough texting, emailing, and scrolling through our social media feed. Just talk with someone. We – human beings need to communicate. We need to express and process our emotions and thoughts (even the ones that tend to process more when they write or use art.) In the COVID-19 reality, when many of us try to push our concerns and emotions away, communicating what we feel and think is needed even more. Now, video is not part of the protocol. No one said this whole social distancing requires to use Zoom, just pick up the phone and call someone. My friends and I started the walk and talk calls. We call each other while walking rather than walking alone. I don’t do it every day, but once or twice a week is enough for my needs.

3. Have a routine. Here is the deal, we didn’t ask for this reality nor chose it. But when forcing into a new reality, we can be on autopilot and react, or we can take a moment and be intentional with our choices. From being a working woman, I became a stayed at home mom with two little kids with no help. My days at first passed by with no purpose nor joy. I did choose to move to the US but did not expect to stay home and not work for a long time. I learned that when we are forced to a situation, a routine is key. Be intentional about your day and week, even if this situation feels temporary. I believe this COVID-19 “temporary” reality is going to stay here much longer than we anticipated. So do yourself a favor and ask yourself the following questions:

• Are you reactive or intentional about your week?  If you are intentional, you are on the path to feeling better and empowered – you take control of some of the choices you have in your day. It’s a start! If you react without any intention, move to the second question.

• What are the key elements you want to see in my week? Wants! not need or have to. What are the key elements you want to see in your calendar this week? Working out? Speaking with X people on the phone? Eating healthier, Taking 1 hour off for running errands, take 1 hour to homeschool your kids, clean your house, learn a new skill, write a blog post? Whatever elements you want to see in your week – write them down, then look at your calendar and plan your week with intention.

Being in this new reality we have never experienced before we become reactive and let the situation leads us. I call this a state a state of AwareLess (unable to notice our tendencies in those situations when we are distracted and maybe even stressed).

When we feel a sense of no control, we can look around and see what some tiny steps are, or decisions we can make to think that we have somewhat of control over the situation. Taking the time to become more intentional of how you act, feel, and think not only will create a sense of control but maybe even make you feel empowered.

Take a moment to rescan again the points I mentioned above and ask yourself: How can you move from being reactive to intentional with your actions and choices? What are the hidden focuses that mislead your way and make you feel the social distancing blues? Then create a new plan that can bring your energy levels up and hopefully change your perspective about where you are.