ILPC - Identify, Label, Pause, Choose

We all had those moments when someone or something triggered or annoyed us.  We observe ourselves from the side and can see the inner spark or total silence that is not aligned with what we want. In those moments, we experience our emotions and or thoughts or actions leading us instead of us leading (not controlling) them. They get in our way to head toward the outcome that we want, and we might even hear an inner conversation that sounds somewhat like: "urge, I ted wish I would show up differently." But the frustrating reality is even though we promise ourselves time after time that we will show up differently – we don't.

Hi, I am Noa, and I work with leaders, executives, and founders of companies just like you to go beyond with their leadership. Are you ready? Let's go. 

 In this article/video, I would like to share a simple framework that can help you lead your emotions or thoughts in a productive way.

 Emotional self-regulation or emotion regulation is the ability to understand and manage your behavior and reactions to feelings, especially strong ones, and calm down after something exciting or upsetting happens.

Same with your thoughts, when you know your thought pattern, you can learn how to lead your thoughts in a new way. I call the framework: ILPC. 

 ILPC stands for Identify, Label, Pause, and Choose. 

 Step 1: Identify

Okay, so you are triggered. The question is, how are you showing up when you're triggered?

When we are triggered, our thought patterns and emotions lead us to unwanted behaviors. This is why it's essential to identify the thought patterns that led to how we show up with our feelings and thoughts. 

 Which of the following is your thought pattern, and when does it show up?

• All-or-Nothing Thinking - Seeing things in black-or-white, zero or one, right or wrong. You will think that it has to be either or. But there are many shades of gray and numbers between zero and one.

• Negative Bias – even though things are going well, you pick one negative detail out and focus on it. 
   If you are a neuroscience geek, please know that the negative Bias is a survival behavior adopted by our ancient brain to keep us safe. Making a mistake could cost our lives; this is why our brain wants us to be aware of the "bad decisions we made" and pay attention to what's NOT working. But in today's reality, most of us do not need to worry about our life all the time. Still, the mechanism stayed.   The cure is to learn how to teach our brain to look at WHAT'S WORKING. We can rewire our brains to see situations from a new perspective and switch how we approach them.

• Overgeneralization - Believing that it "always" happens to you or "never" happens to you – this is when we feel frustrated and defeated. 

• Magnification/minimization - Your special magnifying glass can magnify an issue, making it bigger than it is. Or you're able to minimize the situation and your positive qualities. 

• Mind Reading/Fortune Telling - You jump to a conclusion based on a feeling or thought without any evidence to support it.

• Emotional Reasoning - You believe that whatever you're feeling, it must be so. 
  So how do you show up with your thought patterns, and when? 

Step 2 - Label

So now you know.
The problem is that when we often know that we feel or think in a way that is not aligned with the outcome we want to see, we ignore, avoid or make it small. Why?It goes back to your thought pattern:

• Make it small – well, others have more significant problems. I should not be this way.

• Self-Deprecation – how do I even dare to feel or think this way? I should be positive.

• Ignore/Avoid it – I will work and distract myself.

 The problem with these techniques is research that shows that every time you ignore your emotions and your thoughts, you think about them or feel them 49 times more. 
When we label or name our emotions or thought patterns, we validate what we feel and think. We acknowledge that they exist without needing to fix or delve into them. They are just there to co-exist. They are no good or bad. They are just there.
What can be confusing is that labeling our emotions and thoughts doesn't mean that they will stay there forever. Emotions are not stagnant. They come and go. Even right now, when you read or listen to this idea, you have many thoughts and emotions that show up and disappear. When you trust that this is the idea of thoughts and emotions, that they are energy that goes in and out, that there are not there forever – you can validate them and say: I see you and hear you, I know you are here with me. 

 
Step 3 – Pause & Choose

Now, when we name and validate what we feel and think, we can pause and then choose. Have you ever experienced feeling overwhelmed with emotions or thoughts, and when you shared it with another person, you heard the response: "calm down, let's just take a big breath." 
I can't stand it. Why? Because when people tell me to take a big breath, it feels like I don't have a choice: they are making me do something that makes me feel out of control. I don't feel like taking a big breath; what I want to do at that moment is scream, cry, yell, or lose control of my way. Not their way.

Here is what I do believe taking a big breath is not about calming down. Taking a big deep breath is about a moment of PAUSE This deep breath is because I know my emotions and thoughts are leading me It is an intentional moment for me to pause and choose between two options

- Do I want to stay and let my emotions and thoughts keep leading me?

- Do I want to shift to a new way of being or doing?

Pause doesn't have to be a deep breath; it can be anything that makes YOU PAUSE, to be intentional.  You can stand, take a sip of water, step away from your computer, and make yourself a coffee or tea. My favorite is touching a pulse point on your body (heart, arm) or touching jewelry you wear on one of those pulse points (bracelet, watch, neckless). It can also be a grounding question you write on a sticky note and stick to your computer/laptop screen.

Step 4 – Making an Intentional Choice

Making a choice is a powerful experience. Whether I choose to stay or shift, I respond to a need.
If I choose to stay– that's okay – I am choosing to show up this way. 
The paradox at that moment is that we sometimes want and need to stay. Then the transition is organic and gentle. Most important, we are not on autopilot anymore. It is an intentional choice.
If I choose to shift – I only shift after I check in with myself and ask: 
 What do I need? The answer can be different

• I need to step away

• I need to reach out and ask for support 

• I need to reach out so I can see a new perspective

• Anything else you need

What I love about sharing this system is how empowering it is. Being at a place of choice is empowering to you and others.
It takes time to practice this framework, but finding your way is so liberating.

Remember, first, you identify, then you label or name your emotions or your thoughts, you pause to center yourself, and last, you make an intentional choice. And as a leader, you can use that not only with yourself but also to empower others when you help them develop and grow. Experiment with the ILPC and share with me how it works for you. If you liked this video/article, subscribe and share.

The Power of Morning Routine

Focus. The center of interest, our ability to pay particular attention to someone or something and see clearly.

I was a machine of getting things done. If you gave me a complicated project, my brain would know how to break it down and make it simple. Like a photographer who looks at the view and knows in their head what the picture should look like, it was as if I aimed my camera lens while squinting my eyes as narrowly as possible so I could see all the steps clearly in my head.
Then one day the focus flew out the window. Having my own business taught me that it is so much easier to deliver when I am part of the team. But working on my own? I lost my ability to commit and see results.

How come?
Like many other skills that business owners must learn to become better at what they do, I did a deep dive to help myself understand what some actions I could take in order to overcome my challenge with staying focused and on track were.

One of the things that showed up repeatedly was a morning routine: from Warren Buffet to Ariana Huffington, many successful people had created a morning routine that would feed their energy and help them stay focused.

 When I brainstorm, with my clients, ways to help them stay focused, I always bring up the morning routine. As Tim Ferriss says, “If you win the morning, you win the day.”

Think less about the time and more about the return on your investment. Yes, some people have a three-hour morning routine: they wake up early, drink water, do a hardcore workout, and then meditate for at least 20-30 minutes. Some even pray, shower in cold water, journal. Many will write down their goals for the day and add on gratitude journaling and then move on to breakfast unless they follow intermediate fasting.

Some will do their emails from home quietly while others will not touch their emails until later in the day. The morning routine is their personal development, self-care and it helps make sure their energy is high and they are focusing on their vision and goals.

 If, like many others, including me, you have a need to boost your energy and want to feel less distracted and more focused, let’s review a few of the steps you can take to explore what can be your morning routine.

Waking Up
That was one of the hardest steps for me. I was (and still am) a night owl. On average, I slept five hours a night. With three little kids, I was tired all the time. It was fine when I lived, worked, and walked in the Big Apple. When we moved to the suburban way of living, I attended a wellness workshop and learned the sad news that sleeping less than six or seven hours not only screwed up the way my body burned the fat when I worked out, but it was also dangerous to my children. You see, driving with so little sleep was scientifically as if I was driving after drinking two glasses of alcohol! That was enough motivation to say goodbye to almost 40 years of late-night work. 
Some might say that to be successful with what you do you should wake up at 5 am, even 4am. And maybe you are one of the lucky ones who hop out of bed when the alarm clock strikes four. If so, congratulations. But it shouldn’t feel like getting up is the worst part of your day. Remember, your morning routine is about setting the tone for the rest of the day. You need to wake up at the right time for you. The key here, however, is to stick to that wake-up time every single day of the week, including the weekend, and to get at least seven hours of sleep.

 Cheat Sheet: Getting Ready
Getting ready for the day can be more efficient when you take a few moments to prepare for your next day the night before. Set an alarm clock half an hour before you want to get to bed. Some people will even need more than one hour to transition to bed. On the nights I know I will start my morning with a run or another workout routine, I will make sure my workout clothes are waiting for me, ready to go. Seeing the workout clothes in the morning is a commitment to the night-Noa who laid them out the night before and who I will stay accountable to in her plan because I know how easy it is for me to get off track. Staying committed to my night goals keeps my energy up, I know I am aligned with what is important to me: I walk the talk, and I am a woman of my words.

 Mindfulness Routine:
Focus is about feeling centered, it is about being mindful and aware of your choices, and beyond anything else, it is about being present with what needs to get done and with others.

Mindfulness, in a nutshell, is the actions we take to become more aware and present with ourselves.
The list to practice mindfulness is long:

• Walk

• Run

• Yoga

• Writing

• Playing (box game) or an instrument

• Creative work

• Meditation

• Praying

• Working in the garden

• Journaling

• Gratitude

• Nutrition and drinking water 

Different people find value in different activities. This is where experimentation comes into the picture. My approach, after speaking with people who teach meditation, yoga and other mindfulness practices, is that it is less about the time and more about the consistency. But first, you have to learn what works for you and what doesn't. Like with food allergies or sensitivities, when people limit what they eat, after a few weeks they can add it back and see, by tracking what they eat every day, how they feel mentally and physically, and whether some symptoms are back. I suggest doing the same when you engage in mindfulness practices into your day. See how those activities impact your physical health, your emotional well-being, and your goals for the day. For example, if you choose to wake up every day at 6:30, and then meditate for 2 -5 minutes, track how your days look when you engage in these activities and how they look when you don’t. For example: How is your day when you engage in the activity? Does meditation help you sleep better or be more present with your work? Are you more focused and less emotional during the day after clearing your thoughts and emotions through journaling? Are you more energized when you work out? If you do miss a day of your morning routine, don’t be upset. Use this as an opportunity to track any difference that occurs when you remove whatever activities you were practicing.

Goal Setting
The vicious cycle of emails. No matter how hard you try to reduce your emails, there are always more. It is so easy to distract yourself and start your day with emails. Before you open your inbox, take a moment to look at your day and set intentions for the day and week. What are one to three goals you would like to achieve today or this week? Having a shortlist of goals forces you to stay focused. Long lists are great to see the big picture, but on a daily basis choose between one to three you would like to accomplish and stick with them. Having these goals written down and planned out is going to allow you to stay focused, feel more productive, and motivated- and, in the long run, accomplish more.

 Experiment to Find Your System
There is no right way to find your perfect morning routine. It took me almost two years to find mine. First I had to work hard to switch my internal clock from a night owl to early bird and only then I was able to add on. I don’t need to work out first thing in the morning; I didn’t find it to be of much value for keeping me focused throughout the day. However, I do need a certain amount of specific workout routines throughout the week in order to feel good, feel more energetic, and to stay focused. Others will find working out in the morning to be the most important component to make their day perfect for them.
At the end of the day, we are different people with different needs. What makes me stay focused might not be of value to you. Be willing to experiment until you find what works for you.
Most importantly, the key here is to start your morning by setting a tone for what you want your day to look like, as well as to take care of yourself before you dedicate the rest of your day to your work, your family, or whatever else is consuming your attention.

Leaning Back - why Listening Will Move You From Tactical to Strategic leadership

Ever since we were little kids we were taught to be good through our actions, we all heard the adults saying: “Be a good boy and clean up your room,” or “Be a good girl and share your toys.” So we learned the formula that our actions are what is expected of us and what makes us be seen and rewarded, so we act. But there are areas in life, like leadership, where actions aren’t enough. In fact, adopting the approach of jumping as fast as we can to fix problems will hold us back. 

Why? You see, our autopilot tendency is geared toward doing what we know, fixing problems. Fixing problems distract our focus from intentional strategic thinking that requires slowing down, to reactive tactical solutions.
What is the difference between tactical and strategic thinking?
The definition of the word tactic is to plan, focus on tasks, or procedures that can be carried out; it may be part of a larger strategy. On the other hand, strategic thinking is a larger overall plan that can comprise several tactics.  Essentially, tactics are the nitty-gritty details, while strategy is about the big picture. Tactics are an extreme close-up of what is happening right now or very soon; the twig and sticks of the bird’s nest. Whereas strategic thinking is an expensive view, you can take a step back or beyond to spend time thinking about how the future should look like; like the bird meta-view when it flies above us. When we work as leaders, instead of simply looking at the current situation and reacting to what is happening in the right here right now, we need to expand our vision and be intentional. Instead of initial, reactive responses, we need to think our actions through in order for them to be meaningful and influence in the long term with impact and sustainable results. 

How? lean back and slow down so we can listen.
In one of the first sessions with a new client, she asked me to help her “design a plan to convince the IT team manager that her solution for the marketing process is the right way to go.”  Notice the words: my solution, and the right way to go. Instead of working to solve the problem her right way, I invited my client to go back and listen. Listening can be hard when we have a solution. We want to fix, get over and move to the next item on the to-do list. When we believe that our way is the best way, we lose the ability to be open and see what others in the room have to say. 

Here are a few steps you can take to practice slowing down, leaning back and listening first so you can move toward an intentional way of being and doing:

1.     Lean Back
When I’m cooking with my son, my impatient doer wants to take over and get things done. He will ask me how much oil to put in the pan and all I can think about is the mess that will be if the oil will spill on the floor. Let’s face it, doing it myself is faster and definitely cleaner - for now. It is tempting to want to take the bottle and keep things clean and let go of the stress the internal control freak I am sensing within. But this is my focus on the now.  Yes, it was messy internally and on the stove, but giving him space allowed him to learn new skills. It wasn’t easy to remove myself and push her, the control freak within, as far as possible from the stove area and the pan. I had to find within the ability to overcome my tendencies and let him handle things slowly, and even fail.  Not only can he cook by himself and save me the cooking time and cleaning time, but he also has enough confidence to come up with creative recipes of his own that I never would have thought of. Let your tendencies and autopilot lean back and lean in by taking time to listen. 

2.     Listening without misleading toward your solutions
One of the best ways of leaning back while focusing on listening is by asking questions. Questions that focus on being curious about the wants, needs, and ideas of others can remove us from listening to ourselves to listening to others. The problem is that most of the time when we shift to listening and asking questions, the voice inside us that wants others to follow our solutions and show others that we are right. This is when the questions we ask lack curiosity, filled with judgment, and focus on leading to the right solution we have in mind. What can you do? 

• Stop using leading questions - leading questions, or as we probably should refer to them - misleading questions, are questions we ask to lead people toward our solutions, or toward our want for others to see that we are right. Questions like: “why do you think your idea is practical?” makes me question your question, what you are actually saying without saying is: “show me why your idea is good because, from my worldview, I believe that my idea is better than yours.” Another leading question is a question that has the solution within: “How can you stay away from using the report you suggested?” or “Do you know that by using this report you can do X, Y, and Z?”

• Why vs What questions - One of the best ways of asking exploratory questions is by staying in curiosity. There are two main ways to stay in curiosity, the simplest but not the easiest one is to ask “What” questions instead of “why” or “how” questions. “Why” questions communicate without words to others that we believe our solution is better when you ask why questions, it is as if you’re saying: “I already know the right answer, and it is your turn to explain to/show me why you are not wrong.” What questions, on the other hand, come from a place of curiosity and exploration. “What are your thoughts on this idea?” “What are your ideas for solving this problem?” “What task would you be most comfortable executing?” or as simple as: “I am curious, what….?”

Pay attention next time you ask questions; when you ask WHY questions do you see people defending their idea or feel frustrated with you? When you ask WHAT questions do you see people taking a short pause, and even look surprised?  Is there openness and willingness to explore together?

3.              Lean Back Again
Each time you want to go faster and lean toward a solution ask another ‘What’ question. Challenge yourself to keep asking “what” questions again and again and again. Stretch yourself to explore as many perspectives, possibilities, and ideas. 

4.              Check the Energy in the Room
The leaders who know it all, who have all the solutions, focus on educating, explaining, and solving problems. If you have a tendency to teach and educate your team you might notice that when you take over the conversation the people in the room are less engaged, and go inwards. On the other hand, when you focus on asking questions, explore, invite people to find solutions to gaps you or your team identified -people are more engaged, they come up with solutions (maybe not your favorite ones, but when others come with solutions they also take ownership of leading the process.

Pay attention: How comfortable your team or peers are when you stretch yourself to be in curiosity?  How engaged are they in the conversation? Do you suck the energy from the room, or does it feel specious? Are people stiff and holding back, or are they talking casually like they would to equals? Do they want to keep the conversation because they feel heard and seen, or are they defending and reacting and even triggered? If you sense that the energy is low, you have a choice: you can keep sucking the energy and explain and educate, or you can shift and let them find the answers. People are resourceful and can reach out to you when they need your help.

 Leaning back, listening, asking questions, leaning back, even more, asking more questions, and listening while being present with others’ solutions allow others to feel empowered,  resourceful, and engaged. Not only others will take ownership of the solutions they find, but it will also open up space and time for you to focus on planning and being intentional for the long term solutions while others focus on the tactical approach.

Five Shorts -Why I don't Wait for 2021? Burnout, Energy and Gratitude.

Short 1 - Why I Don't Wait for 2021

A year ago, December 2019, I was full of excitement – I waited for 2020 to begin. 

20 20

This number 2020 - I had this unique feeling that nothing can go wrong; did you share the same feeling? 

And then 2020 happened; so much messiness and uncertainty and still, can I admit that 2020 was a joyful year for me? How come?

The main reason – I stopped waiting. Each time there was an obstacle in my life - I waited, I waited for nothing. Obstacles stay, the question is do you stand and wait for them to move, or do you move.

This time I took advantage of the new reality aka family at home. 

I had no hard stops, no need to pick up kids or run errands; I can do what I want and I learn how to approach my skills in a new way. I learned how to deliver virtual events in an entertaining way (thank you YouTube); I started speaking as a guest at podcasts (I love love love it), I get to network with podcast hosts worldwide.

You see, In this paradox of being in somewhat of a lockdown, I feel freer than ever.

Short 2 - Why You Shouldn’t Wait for 2021?

Why wait?

Why not now?

What is the difference between today and January 1st?

What if there was never a new year to wait for? What would be possible then?

Check my new article about why I believe procrastination is not as bad as we think. Procrastination - Why I Believe There Is Wisdom In Our Resistance And How Can We Start Listening To It?

Short 3 - Energy Bank 

This month's theme is... drum rolls... Energy.

Many of the people I coach have back to back meetings. The never-ending story. The vicious cycle of people being at home and creating more work for each other.

Here is what to do when you feel that your energy is low:

1. Step one – write down all your energy drainers and all your energy boosters:

Energy Drainers: Here you write everything that takes from your energy: people, actions, situations. For example, every time they ask for a five-minute chat, a peer drags you to a 30-45 minutes call while they complain and complain. Maybe energy drainer is when you don't have time to eat lunch or have video meetings all day long or work every day after dinner.

Energy Boosters: Here you write all the things that boost your energy: people, actions, activates. For example:

• Walk outdoors for 20 minutes

• Have phone calls instead of video calls (can you walk while you have those calls)?

• Eating lunch with your child once a week

• Listening to a podcast/audiobook

• Coach one of your team members

• Learning something new or read a book for 30 minutes

• Coffee

• Meditation

• Work in the garden

• Meet a friend once a week?

2. Step two – include energy boosters in your weekly and monthly plan. How? 

• Ask yourself how many of the energy boosters you would like to fit into your week. No judgment; One? Two? More?

• Reality-Check - Open your calendar and see how many of the boosters you CAN fit into your calendar.

• Add the boosters

• Protect your boosters

• Repeat every week, month, and year.

Short 4 - Burnout 

In my book, I talk about the Being and Doing Energies. The Doing energy is the energy of the actions. The Being energy is the energy of our mindset (thoughts, fears, aspirations, beliefs, perspectives) and emotions.
Burnout is when we experience emotional exhaustion. Most of us focus on the actions and regard the being energy. Why is that? From an early age, we learned from the adults that actions are what expected from us and what we are rewarded for ("Be a good boy and clean up your room, be a good girl and do your homework) so we focus on doing.
Burnout is when our container of emotions and thoughts is BEYOND full so we ignore what we feel and think and focus on actions or prefer to focus on actions because inside we know that touching the emotions and thoughts can be too much.
It is a journey to learn how to BE with our emotions and thoughts or to be with the emotions and thoughts of others.
During the Holiday Season when you meet with your family and friends, when it feels too much, or when you hear too many thoughts in your head - slow down and acknowledge what you feel and think, and if needed take a break and recharge.

How?

• Go on a walk/run

• Sit outside

• Work in the garden

• Listen to this 60 minutes podcast about burnout with Brene Brown while cooking

But I am the host I can’t leave them…

• So take 15 - find a quiet room like the laundry room, the garage, your bathroom, your closet, and take five to twenty minutes to breathe, meditate, read a book/poems, journaling or listening to a podcast or TED talk that can inspire you.

• If you have kids take them outside and play with them.

Check out the following two podcasts around burnout

1. Nothing Left to Give - A full podcast around burnout - Click here to check the podcast

2. Brené with Emily and Amelia Nagoski on Burnout and How to Complete the Stress Cycle -   Click here to listen to the podcast episode

Short 5 - Gratitude 

Once a month I meet with my coach. In coaching it is the coachee's responsibility to bring the topic for the conversation –– to indicate what they want to work on. This month I was not sure about my topic. But what did show up is gratitude. Gratitude to many of my clients who show up week after week –– some for six months, some for a year. They show up with a topic, e-v-r-e-y-t-i-m-e. And even if they don't have a topic, they trust that in the coaching conversation they will always learn something new about themselves or their challenges. I am inspired by their want to grow and become their better selves - not just for themselves but also for the impact they create in building relationships with others.

Five Shorts - October - Puppies, Fall and the Wisdom of Resistance

Short 1 - The Wisdom of Resistance
Procrastination? Excuses? Laziness? Here is what I have learned from pushing back on those notions from my clients. Most of them are not lazy; when we take a moment to listen to the wisdom of resistance, it always has something wise to say. So why we don't move? Mostly it is when we don't have clarity about the purpose and meaning of what we are doing or asked to do. Until you understand the purpose or get clarity on what you want to create, sitting in front of this task and making yourself do it will move you nowhere.
Check this video to learn more about this idea.
 
 

Short 2 - Books, Books, Books
When I published my book, my desire to read returned. I promised myself to read at least one or two books each month. Right now, I am reading

• The Heart of Buddha's Teaching, Thich Nhat Hann – it was time to deep dive and understand better the foundations of Buddhism; I like how simple this book is.

• The Color of Water, James McBride - recommended by my daughter. A real story being told by the black son of an orthodox mother. Expressing a black child's identity crisis beautifully and a young man without a father in a challenging reality of courageous mothers goes against so many norms.

• Stretch, unlock the power of less by Scott Sonenshein – are you a chaser? In the last few months, I work on experiencing more joy, and one of the biggest realizations was that the question "What's Next?" needs to move away; it is time to stay and appreciate where I am and being more resourceful with what we have.

Short 3 - Is It Bad?
My older sister said something a few weeks ago that stuck with me. Like any sister's conversation, we always have the kids segment: "How are the kids doing?" we ask each other. I told her that I am worried about the kids. They don't have enough social interaction. "I don't think it is such a big deal," my sister said, "our kids learn now how to be resilient; we made life too easy for them. Our life as kids was not that easy so that they will have a good lesson from this season in their life."
It made me look at my kids differently. I see my kids appreciating socializing with their friends more; they enjoy spending time with my husband and me.
I see them enjoying the virtual learning and creating their schedule for a whole day with ease. I can see each of them where the struggle is, and I challenge them to work through it rather than solve it for them. I want them to know that I am always there for them, but they are creative and resourceful, and after this experience, they will be even more.

Short 4 - Connect Two
Do you wish you had more time? Do you wish you were able to achieve more goals in your long to-do list? I don't have a long list, but I keep some goals consistently as my weekly goal. For years I have: a meeting with a friend once a week. Yep. This is a long term weekly goal. Another weekly goal is 4-5 times a week to work out and even no workout day to recharge and chill.
But what do we do when there is a new goal? How do we incorporate the new ones with the current ones? My secret is connecting two.

• Meet a friend and walk

• Be with my kids and workout

• Listen to podcasts or audiobook while cooking or doing puzzles

• I invite my clients to walk during our coaching sessions

What are your Connect Two? Share your tips.

Short 5 - Adventure Anyone?
What brings you joy? One of the things that bring me joy are little adventures. When I lived in Brooklyn, my favorite thing was to go with the kids (or alone) on an adventure. We hopped on the Subway train, and when we got off the train, the adventures had always found us. Every Sunday morning, my husband and I go on a long walk. It became our COVID tradition, but with a decision to let go of date nights, one Sunday morning, I asked him if he feels like heading to a coffee shop and get something after the walk. We got back home from the walk, got into the car, and off we went. The next week Saturday night, I saw on Instagram that a new coffee shop is opening; what's going on? So many new coffee shops that are opening during COVID19? Maybe it is a way for us to support new businesses while doing what we both love, drinking coffee? And that's how our new adventure started, every Sunday we go on a long walk and then check a coffee shop new or old that we haven't checked before. It is our special time, and it feels like an adventure. Our adventure.
Here are a few of the coffee shops we checked until now;
Here
and
Here
and
Here
For more check my Instagram Feed.

My Latest Social Media Video - Puppies?  
Check my latest social media video with my son Idan; he explains the connection between pace, progress, and puppies.

Check it here

Walking Mastermind
Walking mastermind is back, you are welcome to join us
November 6th, 10am-11am EST everyone is welcome.
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On the Run - or How I Started to Vlog and Doing Social Media Videos

A few months ago I attended a business summit where one of the speakers taught us how to go live on Facebook, or as we call it: Facebook Live. At the same time, I was working on a special short keynote speech for a conference in front of a live audience. It was somewhat like a five minutes TEDx talk speech. Now I am not new to speaking in front of an audience, but I tell you, to craft a five minutes’ message on stage was one of the most challenging projects I have ever had had in a while. Beyond the message, there was another component in the room: seven video cameras that will capture my message in one shot, no retakes. Which means that the video could turn out to be a professional video that represents my speaking skills, or not. 

Back to the presenter at the Summit, one of the things that pulled my attention when the speaker was sharing his knowledge about going live on Facebook was the idea that the more you use Facebook live, the more comfortable you feel in front of a video camera. Although I started using more and more videos as part of what I do, I could still sense that I am not as comfortable as I wanted to be with video cameras. Since I wanted to get better with video skills and feel more comfortable in front of a camera, at that moment, I decided to experiment with Facebook live.

And that’s how one journey evoked another journey. To find a way to commit and be consistent with my Facebook live, I decided to connect the Facebook live with another activity – my runs. I run 2 or 3 times a week, depends on my schedule, so I decided that after each run I will do a Facebook live. I called my Facebook live: “on the run.” These Facebook live talks are casual talks; me with pink cheeks after a run, still catching up my breath, sweating and sharing a thought that came to mind while running. Beyond the practicing I felt that going live on Facebook will be an opportunity for me to walk my talk of getting messy, It wasn’t about creating the perfect well-crafted speech, it was about showing up with my raw thoughts and share them with my audience with no editing. And that’s how it all started.

Creating my intention to share my thoughts on Facebook required a new skill, from pure connection with self, I had to figure out what topic I should speak about after each run. 
Sometimes I knew right away what the topic is going to be, but sometimes no real topic came to mind and I could sense how I am trying to force the topic on me. This is how I learned that I need to manage my thoughts, sometimes what I needed was to surrender, let go of finding a topic and allow the topic to find me. I had to learn how to quiet my mind and allow my running time to be what it meant to be for me, a time to think about nothing else, to connect with nature and see endless opportunities in the blue (or cloudily) sky. 

Last week, when I went on my run, I felt that maybe I should shake things a bit and change my running route, and rather than turning left in the usual way I turned right. The moment I turned right, I smiled and told myself: Cool! Here is a topic for today’s Facebook live, I can talk about habits and how great it can be to shake things around, find a new way to do things, see how a new way can impact you and what you can learn from the experience. Perfect!” But at the same time, something unusual had happened, I had a sharp pain in both knees while running, it felt like needles pinched my nerves again and again and then it stopped. Ha! I told myself, my body doesn’t like the change, should I listen to what my body is saying to me?
I decided to keep going, but I could sense how this little change in my route felt so uncomfortable for my body; the downhill was uphill, what used to be behind me was now in front of me everything felt a bit off. But the sky was blue, and I was so excited to share my experience with my FB Live audience. I was almost home when I passed a lady who was walking with her dog. The lady and I smiled at each other, as we do in our neighborhood, I kept some space from her and the dog, but I know that Labrador-Retriever dogs are very calm and smiley dogs.  And then it happened faster than the wind, the dog jumped, I thought it was a friendly jump to say hi, but then I could feel it. I looked at the lady with pain and told her: “Your dog just bit me!” we both looked at each other with surprise. I was hurt, not because of the pain from the bite (yes it did hurt!) but you see, I love dogs, as a child, my house was filled with dogs and animals. Beyond the burning pain, and the anti-tetanus shot and antibiotics and canceling all plans with clients, I think what hurt the most was that a dog, an animal I love so much just bit me. 
For the rest of the day, I kept asking myself, what had just happened? Did the instant pinching pain in my knees was my body's way of communicating with me that I should not choose the opposite direction? Should I listen better to my body rather than going against it? What is the lesson I should learn?
But there was also another thought that brought a smile to my face: remember what I shared? I planned to share on Facebook Live how beautiful it can be to change our habits and see what we can learn from them but sometimes, just sometimes... reality bites… 

Oh! If you want to check my 5min keynote talk – you can check this link.

New update June 2020 - if you want to follow my social media vlog, on there run - connect with me on Linkedin, or follow me on Instagram.