Not a fan of networking? Here are Seven Reasons why you should add Networking to your year goals.

“Have you considered Networking?” How many of you made the same face my clients or others make when I ask them this question?

 I know, I know, there are rare people, somewhat like the lions in the savannah that when I ask the Networking question answer with joy and spark in the eyes: “I love networking, bring it on!” Yes, there are a few of those, but many people do not enjoy networking.

 In this article, I would like to invite you to consider a new way of approaching networking. A new intention to how you approach networking if I can suggest.

A few weeks ago one of my clients burst into a long monologue about how much they hate networking. Hate it with passion. I get it. Believe me, I do. I didn’t like to network too and I am an extrovert…Here are the main buts I hear again and again from people and how you can overcome them.

1. “But I am an introvert…”Most people who don’t like to network feel that networking is about a shallow conversation, and if you are one of the people who define themselves or the assessment defines you as an introvert you probably will say: “But I am an introvert, I am just not good with networking.”
   If you have no idea what is all the introversion extroversion conversation let me sum it up. Introverts are the ones who get energy from being alone and take time for internal processing before they talk, while extroverts get energy from being with others and process their thoughts while talking out loud. Now, some people got this all introvert idea wrong, introverts are not shy people, many of them are leaders and speaker. I see the difference between the introverts and extroverts as energy. Extroverts get energy from being with others while extroverts give to others their energy. What it means is that if you are an introvert, it is not that you are bad at networking, you just need to take time afterward to be alone and recharge since you gave a lot of your energy to others.

2. But I don’t like the feeling of selling myself When I started my coaching business I remember telling others that there is a big distinction between selling a product or service of others you believe in and selling yourself to others. This is an experience people have when they seek a job or when they need to sell their services as the owners and soulpreneur.
   When we enter a room with this mindset and the assumption that what we need to focus on is selling ourselves we feel uncomfortable. But here is one of the most important points I have learned from people who are successful in networking.
   The people who are successful in networking don’t sell ANYTHING when they talk with you they focus on listening to you so they can bring YOU value. So focus on having a conversation and get to know the other person., get curious about them, ask them questions and if you listen well you will also be able to bring them value.

3. But if I listen and ask questions how can others know what I do or looking for?Before I answer this question, let me ask you another question (this is what coaches do very well). When you come to a networking event or a meeting with another person, and the person who you are meeting with is talking about themselves for a big portion of the meeting, how does it feel?
   When I ask these questions in a big room, I always get the same answers:

   • I feel unheard and invisible.

   • I think that they are using me to get what they want, but they don’t care about me.

   • They only care about their pitch they don’t care about people.

   In the end, we all want others to listen to our wants and needs. We want to be seen, be heard, and acknowledged. Challenge yourself to keep asking questions until you learn something interesting about them and maybe even to identify what are the points that connect the two of you. This is a good way to share your story from their needs and create a deeper connection that brings value to both sides.

4. But I am better at one-on-one meetingsExactly! I am better with one on one conversations too. And this is also your goal at networking events: to identify the people at the networking event that you would like to meet with them afterward. because from what you have learned about them you can bring value to each other and even form partnerships. And yes! at times you will choose to meet just because you felt there is more to the conversation even though you know right now nothing will get out of it more than friendship, but friends can become your best referrals in the long term. Remember, networking is a long term game, don’t play the short run.

5. But if I spend so much time with a few people how can I reach as many as possible so they can help me?In the end, no one will help you if they don’t know you. People help people they know and trust. It is rare for a stranger to help you find a job, or support your business if they don’t know you. Ask yourself how likely are you to recommend someone on your running group who you meet and chat with twice a week vs. a person you met for a quick 5 minutes’ conversation in a networking event? This is why I teach my clients to attend the same groups consistently. There are many groups you can join or volunteer with; Meet Up is a great place to find your people. If you like to workout find a workout group if you have a hobby join a group of people who share your passion. If you have the time I would suggest volunteering with an organization, there is no better way to get to know people and leaders in the organization and your community than volunteering with a committee, the board, or other projects. As I mentioned earlier, networking is a long-run game, people who know you, see you every week and feel as you invested in them will invest in you and help you when the day comes because they know you, not because they met you once. Remember when you enter a networking event it is not about being a social butterfly; leaving with the largest number of business cards or meeting the most people in the room will not give you an advantage. On the contrary, it will harm you. What will bring value is your willingness to focus on giving value to others.

6. But it is tiring for me to meet so many people.If the idea of meeting so many people in a networking event sounds daunting, exhausting, and frustrating, here is a tip I share with my clients and my audience: “There is no networking police in networking events.” Let me suggest a different approach, rather than meeting all the people in the room and having short and non-meaningful conversations, go into a room and find one or two people that you can have a deep and meaningful conversation. After you had that experience, if you feel that your energy is low, go.
   Yes, I give you permission to go.
   Remember, no one is there to report your short attendance or how many people you met.

7. But I don’t need it I work in the same company for so many years…And one day you won’t, or you will not want to work in that company anymore. Here is the deal, finding a job is first and foremost about connections, whether if it is for a new opportunity in the company you work or in another organization. If we don’t take time to invest in these relationships when the day comes we will find that opportunities go to the peers that invested their time in networking with other leaders and members in the organization and beyond. Again - people help, support, refer people they know and trust if people don’t know you and trust you inside or outside the organization they will need to refer you, or introduce you or advocate for your success. Don’t wait like many of my clients until it is too late, it is NEVER too late to network even if you work in a company; Volunteer inside your company to support an initiative of interest, volunteer as a board member in an organization of interest or a professional association, join a mastermind group or join a group that can help you work on your skills like ‘toastmasters club’ (a speaking club). There are many ways to network even when you work full time.

You can see that there are many buts, but I believe and also see from the conversations with my clients and groups that the more they work on the muscle of networking the more energy they have to network with people. The more they network with the focus in mind on bringing value to others, the more opportunities and relationships they see for themselves and beyond.

Stick to Your Sticky Notes and Plan Strategically

One of the benefits of working as a coach, at least as I see it, is that I can accomplish most of my work remotely. Working remotely means many video meetings. Whenever people see my video screen, they ask me about my colorful background.

You see, the whole wall behind my desk is filled with sticky notes. It is not decorative, though I do need a lot of color in my life. The sticky notes on the wall behind my desk are a live representation of my strategic business plan. I believe that having a business plan on my computer, stuck in a computer folder or file folder, doesn’t count. When it is on the wall you can SEE it. It is there bothering you, making sure you don’t ignore it and when you do ignore it, others who see it on your zoom wall keep reminding me to stay committed to my goals.

Why did I start using sticky notes?

When I started my coaching business, I bartered my coaching services with a woman who edited my first coaching blog. Beyond having editing skills, this woman, who was also a TV producer, suggested I try organizing my writing-thoughts using post-it/sticky notes. She told me that this is a tool they use as TV producers. On my way home from the meeting with her, I bought myself a colorful package of sticky notes. Since then, the sticky notes go everywhere with me, from coaching sessions to workshops to strategic thinking sessions. They help my clients organize their thoughts. The sticky notes are your tool to work on your strategic thinking muscle and then brainstorm ways to implement your vision.

Here is how I work with sticky notes:

1. Each idea gets one sticky note. It can be a word or a sentence. Do whatever feels right to you.

2. After you have a few notes on the table/wall/door, try to see if you can identify trends or specific topics.

3. When you start seeing some themes, group the ideas/word by topic.

4. Now that the sticky notes have allowed you to start creating connections between your ideas, you can move on to actions. Again, on each sticky note, you will write one action step.

Tips:

• Color indexing – use colors to differentiate between different topics/themes, or between the title of each theme to the steps/ideas/goals you have. For example, all marketing goals and actions will be in one color. Another option is that you identify that there are a few different marketing goals like blogging, social media, and virtual/life networking. Then, each marketing goal will get a different color.

• Workflow - when I listen to my clients, we can leave the session with a workflow. If your mind is wired to think in workflows, I would encourage you to take the next step with the information you have and organize your sticky notes as a workflow of your ideas.

Sticky notes are a playful way for us to take the thoughts we have in our heads that focus on the tactical side and make them more strategic. What’s cool about this tool is that when we put our thoughts on physical space and start moving them around, we can see the optimal organization of our ideas that have stayed too long in our heads. This is a different way of organizing our thoughts while still creating space for us to take a pause when we feel stuck and revisit what we have and move things around and see what makes the most sense for us.

If you haven’t yet played around with sticky notes, I hope it will inspire you to try this creative, strategic way thinking, and if you share the same passion for sticky notes as me, let me guess… you probably love notebooks and pens too – I knew it! :-)

May Monthly Shorts - In the Nothing Something Shows Up and How to Stay Focused

What I Was Thinking About This Month?
What was I thinking? Actually nothing.
For the last week, I have tried to come up with words, sentences but... nothing, nada, not a word, not a sign not even a little comma. I was out of words. 
What was going on?
I believe that my container of creativity was almost empty. You see, I set myself a goal to send my book draft to beta readers by the first week of May. When I dove into the writing I couldn't stop, and the clock was ticking 11PM, 12AM 1AM, and I just kept going. When I sent the draft to my Beta Readers (the first readers who read an early draft and help the author to better the structure of the book) I couldn't take a pause. I had to keep moving, I had a few more big projects to take care of. It was one of those weeks where I felt like a toothpaste tube, those tubes I keep squeezing and squeezing to get out what's left because I don't have another toothpaste in the house. But as you know there is always something left, it is just the way it felt as nothing left.  
Still, in the woods of nothing I have learned that something will show up. When I stop resisting the emptiness or my want to deliver results and give in to the nothing something shows up. When I give in I look for ways to get inspired so I can refill the creativity container and this system never let me down. Last week, when I spoke to a group one of the attendees reminded me that the best ideas come up not in the meeting room when we force action, but most of our best solutions show up when we let go of the action and connect with the being. For me, it is when I take a shower or go on a run, or when I read an inspiring book, or listen to an inspiring podcast or TED talk. 
Next time when you try to make yourself work or create, remember that in the nothing something will show up. So how can you invest your time differently rather than keep working on nothing?

Focus
Focus, when you zoom in and boom! you see results and you feel good about yourself. Focus became such a challenge for so many of us. So many reasons so many distractions. Sometimes I feel that all I need is to see is a butterfly to get distracted. This is why with the years I developed a few different practices that move me more and more to be focused. There are still those days that I am all over the place, but I realize that since my life can be chaotic at times (not because of others, but because of me  - I would probably get bored with doing the same thing every day, or have the same pace a day after day so to make it interesting I shuffle things around). But Since I am being asked this question a lot there are a few practices that I became very rigid to help me stay focus as much as possible, especially when I write.
Here are my top three - feel free to share with me what are your practices. I always enjoy getting your emails or comments.

1. Close your email and social media. If you need to knock down a project, set it in your calendar and while working on it close all other channels. Allow yourself time to disconnect so you can connect with self. Some people now even put their smartphone closed in a closet.

2. Social media - stop checking your social media ego (how many likes etc every other minute) set time twice a day to check it out - put it in your calendar.

3. Scan your inbox and answer first to emails that bring money, other emails can wait (unless there is an opportunity for income). As service-oriented I am, I am learning that some people will be okay receiving an answer later on. That's okay. Don't get me wrong - I don't ignore people, but I prioritize where my time goes first and if you are a giver like me it is easy to fall into the helping everyone else and look at yourself at 4pm and say: "I didn't do anything today..."

Hope it helps - let me know if you would like more tips that work for me. Now always what works for me, might not work for you - the least you can try but please be consistent. Trying it for a day or two is not enough.


What have I listened to lately?
After dinner, my husband and I like to clear out the living area from the house residents who are under 18 years old and just relax with some good music. A few weeks ago my husband put an album of a guy I haven't heard his music before and I really liked it. A few days later I was working in my favorite coffee shop and in the background, I heard a song that pulled my attention. One of my new little doings is to collect ideas of musicians/music I can listen to while writing. So whenever I hear a song I really like I Shazam it (Shazam is an app that identifies the media playing around you, and gives you full info) Guess what? when I Shazamed the song it was the same guy: Andrew Bird.Check him out. 
 

My Most Watched Video Last Month
 on Social Media 
One of the most watched 'On the Run' videos in April was about our want to Defeat Behaviors or limiting thoughts/emotions that get in our way. We don't like barriers, we like a quick fix. I believe that part of the reason that we think we can get rid of some behaviors is the phrase: "let go" this phrase is so rooted in our cultural conversation that it is as we believe that by saying it we will fix the others' problems.
Can we get rid of them? no, but we can shorten the time they stay with us.
My perspective is that awareness is the first step of moving toward a sustainable change. When we know what we didn't know we are out of the awarelLESS state, as I call it. Knowing is as we say: "I see you behavior/thought/emotion" and for some reason the more we see them the less time they stay to hang out with us.
Click here to check out the video 
For more inspirational shorts and on the run videos check my social media feeds: @NoaRCoach (LinkedIn/twitter/FB/Instagram)



Noa @Next Events - Come and Say Hi :-)

5/17 Monthly Women Walking Mastermind. 
The Women Walking Mastermind group is getting a lot of great vibes from the community and we would love for you to join us this Friday, May 17th 9AM-10:30AM - feel free to come with your workout/casual clothes. 

If you do NOT like to network this is your group. If you like to network but looking for a place to have a meaningful conversation we created a system that shifts the focus from networking to connection. 
Why we do it the way we do it?  Why we do it differently than in other groups? 
There is a lot of thinking behind it - we explain everything before we start :-) 

This month topic is Limiting vs Limitless vocabulary. 
PLEASE RSVP HERE

How to Overcome Isolation as a Business Leader or Executive

Many times when I speak with leaders I sense that the higher they climb the leadership ladder the lonelier they might feel.

Isolation, I remember the first time I heard that word related to my life context. Few years after our relocation, someone I met told me that I probably have a deep sense of isolation. Leaving our family, friends, and career behind was a very isolating experience for me. Until that person used the word ‘isolation’, I knew there was something, but I couldn’t point my fingers on, but that person nailed it. They were able to express the word I couldn’t find to explain what I had felt for so long. Isolation is one of the deepest experiences you have after relocation, not only you feel alone and isolated, but you tend to isolate yourself. Not because you plan to do so, it is just a natural way to be when you have the feeling that every time you leave your house you feel different than the rest around you.

The second time I chose to use the word isolation was during my last leadership role. You see, there is that unique paradox in leadership. Leaders lead, and when they lead others they need to connect with them, they need to communicate their passion and vision so people will choose to follow them.  When you enjoy leading processes and people this is an exciting experience, but mostly you can not escape the challenge and sometimes the challenge becomes a drama. I could sense in some moments how I escalate when I stepped into the path of a challenge with another person, or a difficult situation. I can even sense how I want to dive into the drama. But with experience, you learn how to manage yourself and see what are your options in the situation. But here is the thing, many times when you are there, in the challenge, you are there all alone. Sometimes your friends are part of the organization and you choose not to gossip about the situation, and again, the higher you go the harder it becomes to share your challenges. With some leaders sharing their challenge might look like they share their weakness, a path they are not willing to take. So what’s left? a mentor or a coach can help you go through the experiences and learn what you can do better, or help you make a new choice, make a different decision, or show up differently. These are one, or two hours in a timeline of many constant struggles, where the leader feels alone. This is when the sense of isolation showed up again, but this time I knew I needed to support myself, especially as an extrovert persona who needs to talk through her challenges with others.
Here are a few simple ways to overcome isolations that worked for me:

1. Accountability Partner - accountability partner is someone who helps you to achieve your goals. Like any relationship, you need to find the person who will be committed to the process. My accountability and I meet once a week to discuss our weekly goals and beyond. When a challenge or opportunity meets us along the way this is our safe space to consult with each other, brainstorm ideas, and help each other become our better selves. I heard about other ways to work with an accountability partner, for example you both meet remotely or face to face to work on a specific task, you share what task you are going to accomplish in the next hour and an hour later you share your accomplishments. As in any relationship you need to discuss with your accountability partner how this partnership is going to look like, and what you both need to stay committed and accountable to the process. It is not an easy process to find the right person, but when you do it can help you feel supported and accomplished.

2. Mastermind Group - There are many definitions or ways of setting a mastermind group. I see it as an opportunity for a group of people to share perspectives, encourage each other, and help each other to grow. I wanted to have conversations with a diverse group of leaders and business owners from different business areas and different perspectives. The main thing that connects us all is our want to be challenged by others, willingness for a new perspective, and a deep want to grow as people. It is amazing to see the changes that each one of us went through since we started this group, and this is one of my favorite meetings each month. There is something compelling about knowing that others have challenges as you, and it is inspiring to listen to their vision, creations, and willingness to share. Everyone finds value in these conversations and most important a new perspective of how they saw their open personal or work situation. The most exciting thing was to see how everyone is leaving the room with a boost of energy, no matter how they stepped into the roo.
   
   This is when a new idea started percolating. What if I could engage the structure I have created in different Masterminds groups and we could meet outside? There is nothing better than facing your challenge in nature with other bright minds around. Today I lead a few Mastermind Groups a year for Social Business Leaders and to Executives. All Confidential and in each one it is so exciting to see how much the group members become the cheerleaders, supporters, and some even become good friends.

I believe with all my heart that the more leaders connect with each other rather than isolating themselves the more impact and influence they could create in our community and beyond.

My question to you is what is the next step you can take to feel less alone and more connected to others in a way that feels meaningful and with value?

Open Heart Leadership Mindset for Strong Leaders

We all have that person in our life that we can not tolerate. Isn’t that a great opening for a Valentine’s Day post? I think it is. 
A few years ago, I decided to walk my walk of coaching. To walk my walk of coaching meant that I would hold the principles of coaching not only when I sit with my clients face to face or meet with them through the phone but also to hold those principles when I am not with my clients when I am not coaching. You see, the core of coaching is to partner with clients in a thought-provoking and creative process that inspires them to maximize their personal and professional potential. If you strip the fancy words ICF used for coaching, the nutshell of coaching is the relationships I establish with my clients from the first conversation. Establishing the coaching relationship is what allows me to have a different conversation with my clients.
What I mean by that is that when we start working together, I get curious about my client’s needs and wants in this relationship. They know better than anyone else (including me) what they need. Of course, I make sure that they don't speak the mantra of shoulds and needs that others put in their head. I make sure that they express what is the heart of their want, not the others' want. But to make sure we both can hear the real want we need to have trust. Yes, trust that thing, that "space" as coaches like to say, that makes you want to share your want with me, even if it is uncomfortable. 
What makes people trust you? There are many possible answers to this question because there are many people with different wants and needs. But when you let go of judgment by listening with much curiosity to what they say and shift your focus from what you need or really want to say right now to allow them to talk they trust you because your focus is on them. Also, it is also important that we will ask the person what they need that when we share our feedback or share what we hear, sense or curious about that they will be open to receive our feedback. Think about it, in each relationship the responsibility to give and receive is on both sides. No matter if you are a leader, a business owner or a parent, you are not the only one responsible for the conversation. Think about it,  I can be the best coach with the best tools, and you can be the best leader with the best communication skills, but if the other person in the conversation is not willing to receive your insight or feedback, they just won’t! It is not because we did a crappy job, we followed all the rules, step by step, but we didn’t do something important. We didn’t ask what they need and wanted to be open to receive our feedback. We assume that by asking what we need to do differently, the relationship will get better.

Yesterday one of my clients used the metaphor of relationships as a card game and here is the deal, I see you, I listen to you, I focus on you, but at the end of the day, there are rules to the game. I need to get the rules from you, or we will play on the board game without a win for you for too long, which can be exhausting for both of us. What do I mean by that? First I share with you how I work with you, but then I also ask for your wants and needs beyond your goals, I need to understand what kind of conversation, a way of communication you would like to have that will serve you. Some clients need more of quiet time to process, and for me to stay quiet and wait, some clients want me to challenge them a lot, while others don't like if I push too hard, some need to report about their progress in between sessions while others need to process on their own. I dance with each one of them differently while also get permission from them to be me. There is no one size fits all, there is no recipient there might be a need to switch the dairy with nut milk for one person, and the wheat with almond flour with another. So how do I walk my talk outside the coaching session? I see people as people. This is the heart of strong leadership. I think in the last few years it became more and more of a narrative in leadership, parenting and owning a business - see people as people, see the human in the other no matter how different they think and behave. 
But what does it mean to see people as people? I love to use the explanation that Arbinger Institute uses in their books. The core of seeing people as people is to stop seeing them as objects. There are three ways to see people as objects:
1.    Seeing people as an obstacle -   when you look at people as something that gets in your way of achieving your goal you see them as objects. If a person slows you down and becomes a barrier in your way, you become impatient, when you become impatient you communicate that with your body and with your words. It can happen with the cashier in the supermarket or one of your team members who doesn’t deliver what you need. You stop seeing them as people, achieving the goal becomes more important than the people themselves.
2.    Seeing people as a vehicle - you can also stop seeing people as people when they become a tool for you to achieve something, a vehicle. You all experienced when someone used you as a vehicle. It will start when they come to your desk, or stop you on your way and probably flatter you on what you wear and then ask you if you can give them something they need that you have. Did you ever experience being a vehicle for someone else? I sure did….
3.    Not seeing people – this is when the other person is invisible, we don’t notice their existence. Have you ever experience sitting in a meeting with another person and they talk about their business/themselves/their mission for 60 minutes and never find the time afterward even to ask you one question about yourself? Would you do any business with that person? 
How do you see people as people? It starts with noticing that we all at times see others as objects. Me too. Now, when we are ready to admit that we have our moments when we don't see others as people, we can start noticing ourselves and learn to switch. How can we switch? We move our attention from focusing on our needs and wants to the needs and wants of the other person. A little example from our current flu season. Like many of you, our family hit with the flu as well. Since Thanksgiving every week I had one or two family members sick in our house. A few days ago while my two older kids stayed home with a cold and a fever I drove my youngest to school. My husband was on a business trip, and I was tired. My little one got into the car and said: “mom I have a headache and I feel like I am going to throw up” It was the sixth time that he used that excuse in the last month. Twice he did have something but this time like the two other times the week before he did not have a fever or anything else. I was tired. I was ready to just go to my meeting with a client and get some peace and quiet from all the germs in my house, so I did what sometimes parents do when they get tired. I yelled. Remember this is a messy blog. I yelled that enough is enough and he is going to school. There was more yelling from my hand, but underneath the yelling was my try to say to the world to let me be. My youngest gave me the unhappy nine years old guilt look, and we both stayed quiet until we were one minute away from his school. That's when I noticed myself. I shifted from seeing my son as a barrier, being in my way of achieving peace to a child that might try to communicate with me a need or want. “Hey little guy," I asked him "is everything is okay at school? Do you have trouble with your friends, teachers?”, 
“yes mom,” he said, “I have some trouble with the assistant teacher.” 
You see, stop seeing people as people, is something we do more than we think, not only with our team members, or with our clients, but also with our family, or when we go to the supermarket or at networking events. Don’t be upset with yourself, just notice. The more you notice yourself, the more you will open your heart. 

People can sense when you see them as objects, think about it, see me as a person someone compliments me, see me as an object someone compliments me, do the compliments feel the same? 

Happy Valentine's.

Giver vs. Receiver (not a taker)

to all the Givers out there. A true story…

Funny enough when I started writing this blog post I realized that today is Giving Tuesday. So it is a good place to start and share my thoughts about Givers.

Here is an interesting learning, until not so long ago I was a pure Giver. You might have read the book The Givers, by David Callahan. I didn’t know I was a giver, until a few years ago when I read this book and realized that this is me – I am a Giver. As much as I have enjoyed being a Giver at times, I also suffered from being the victim (yes, yes… it is my pattern, and I have learned how to shorten this way of being) of the takers. I haven't noticed this trend until I was part of a special program where I realized that some people picked up the phone or met with me only when they needed some information to understand the material in the program. But after they took the piece of information they needed they disappeared and when I needed something from them? They were no way to be found. That is when I have learned that takers will take knowledge, but will never share it with others.

Givers, on the other hand, will give knowledge, time and resources to anyone in need. They don’t see knowledge as power; they don't even understand this conversation around power, mostly they will come from a place of abundance. By the way, if you are not sure if you are a giver, here is a clue for you, you will always leave a meeting with another person too late because you want to make sure they got everything needed from you.

But the thing with givers is that we Give, and we enjoy giving, but because we put people before tasks, and many times we will also over commit to too many things, one day we wake up with the victim feeling and say: “Hey! What is happening here? I give and give and give, and no one is supporting me! no one is referring business to me, no one shows a place of an open heart to me, and the people I have trusted and helped grow to his or her leadership had turned away." How come that a Giver who comes from a place of kind heart suddenly feels as if no one cares?

I believe some of you were thinking to themselves: "Hey Givers! make up your mind! Do you help others just because you want to do something out of the goodness of your heart, or do you all just a bunch of manipulators who give so you can get something in return?”

No, True Givers don’t want anything in return, they are so inclined to give that they get to the point (and it happens again and again) where they just feel as they have no resources left. A deep sense of sadness and exhaustion arises, and then stress and fear crawl to the inner giver who steps into an overwhelming state. So what they do? They shut down, close the door and roar at anyone else who is trying to steal their time. Without saying a word, they look at you as they say: “Stay away! This is MY time; it is MY MY MY time to take care of myself because no one else does! I have some work to do, do you see the “No Disturb” sign? until I am done, I am not here!”

So after years of being a pure Giver, I felt as something is missing for me to enjoy giving, and then I asked myself: “What if I will become a receiver? What if I will allow my self to choose when I want to be a pure Giver but will also open my energy to receive?” And that’s when an interesting journey started for me because after years of giving without anyone leaning my way, suddenly people just showed up and asked: “Can I help?” sometimes they didn’t even ask, they just Gave without asking if I wanted to receive. Actually, they didn’t need to ask – because I communicated it without words, I communicated it through a new energy and new way of being that now I am willing to receive, they were able to sense.

When I was looking internally, I was able to notice that for years I was stuck in a positive way of being that blocked any opportunity I had to receive. I must confess that I know what was the reason I blocked my way of being as a receiver, but I will not go there. Still, if you are a giver who wonders why? Why no one leans my way? Ask yourself if there is something within that blocks you from wanting to receive, maybe you have learned long ago that when you receive you need to pay back for receiving? Maybe you have learned that when you receive you lose your power, or it might even bring a sense of shame? Perhaps you have learned that receiving could diminish the giving? and maybe you are confusing receiving with taking? When you go deep, ask yourself what is it that you block from receiving that doesn’t allow others to help/support/promote/mentor/advocate behalf of you/for you? 

So how would it be to Give and also be a receiver?