“Dear journal, I am thankful for my health. Dear journal, I am grateful for my family. Dear journal, I am thankful for the food we have. “
Okay, so maybe there is a better way to approach gratitude?
Many times when I mention gratitude practice to my leader clients, they have the same look on their face that I used to have when someone said they practice "meditation."; It is the look of "come 'on another woo-woo thing that people who wear tie-dye shirts do?’“
In this article, I will clarify gratitude practice and suggest a few ways that might be helpful for you to experiment and see if it helps you boost your energy, focus, and adversity and brings a sense of joy that might be missing in your life.
Hi, I am Noa, and I work with leaders, executives, and founders of companies just like you to go beyond with their leadership. Are you ready? Let's go.
In one of my last videos, I mentioned the negative bias. The negative bias is a tendency we focus in our day, week, and life on the things that don't work for us. For example, you had a wonderful day at work, and then around 2 pm, there was one annoying coworker comment. When you come home, and your partner asks you how your day was, all you remember from that beautiful day is that one annoying comment and respond with a grumpy face: "I had better…." That's what we call the "Negative Bias." Our ancient brain was engineered to be obsessed with our mistakes, with our failures, because the focus on the mistakes and failures made sure we learn from them; that was our way to survive our life in danger out and about. This Negative Bias mechanism kept us alive. The mechanism stayed as in many ancient brain behaviors, but the need is different.
The good news is that we can reprogram our brains. Our brain CAN learn new ways that serve our new life needs. One of the ways to teach our ancient brain to lower its focus on the negative bias is to focus on progress, what's working, and gratitude.
Progress – where can we see improvement?
What's working – where we can recognize and appreciate what we do well?
Gratitude – where we can appreciate and be grateful for what we have in our lives?
To learn more about the Negative Bias and rewiring your brain check out my article HERE.
Multiple studies show that gratitude can boost our well-being and improve our mood. A study published in Applied Psychology in 2011 showed that people who practiced gratitude for 15 minutes before they went to sleep slept better and had fewer negative thoughts. Another study found that people who practice gratitude have fewer negative emotions like resentment and anger.
Being more aware of gratitude's impact on our lives, I have noticed a pattern. When I coached successful leaders who are more resilient and find it easier to adapt to change, I asked them what made these attributes their strengths. The answers were the same repeatedly; they were grateful for what they had had in their life. Many mentioned that expressing gratitude was something they saw in their house with their parents or grandparents or another influential leader or teacher they met in their life journey.
This supports other studies that positive and grateful people are contagious; many want to get closer to them. Many successful people practice gratitude every morning.
How do you practice gratitude?
There are many techniques, but I will share three that most of my clients appreciate and, most importantly, find easy to adapt as a habit.
1. Journaling
Here is how I define Journaling; Journaling is writing your thoughts and emotions in whatever fits you. There is no right or wrong way to journal; there is no specific length of writing which is good or bad. It can be one word or many pages. It can be a few times a day, every day, or every few days. It can be different from one day to another. The important thing is that you take the time to express your thoughts and emotions in writing and/or drawing/doodling and any other art that suits you. Maybe even composing what we are grateful for?
Here are two you can try.
The Long List – take time to write down 50 things in your life every day that you are grateful for. This technique is not for every soul. But the purpose of this approach is that the more you write, the deeper you must challenge yourself to see what you have to be grateful for. The competitive, or those who like a challenge, can enjoy this practice.
The Shortlist (the Zen Approach) - If, like me, you prefer short and deep. You write two or three things you are grateful for every day, but you have to be specific.
Write a specific sentence that expresses why you are grateful for your health: I am thankful that today I could work out for 30 minutes even though my right knee hurts. Instead of writing a vague short sentence like, I am grateful for my health. Or rather than writing, I am thankful for my family, write a specific example that explains why. For example, I am grateful that my son in college called me today, even though I know he prefers to text.
2. Visual/Imaginative way - Scan your day and choose the best images of your past day.
One of the best ways to reprogram your brain to focus on what's working is before you sleep. Before you go to sleep:
Scan your day.
Look at all the visuals in your day, somewhat like a video.
Click the Pause Button on your remote when you identify a moment you are grateful for and be with it.
To appreciate that moment and keep scanning the video of your day, focusing on moments of gratitude, you can take a moment to enjoy and be with them fully.
3. Praying
Praying can be a religious practice, but not only. Praying can work well for people who like to express their thoughts and emotions out loud. It can also be an excellent gratitude practice for people engaging in or reconnecting with this routine. Prayers can be poems or quotes you feel can be a perfect way to express your gratitude; they can be religious prayers or prayers from a prayer book you like; they can even be prayers you wrote yourself. Prayers can be a poetic way to feel and express how grateful you feel for what you have in your life.
If you choose to experiment with gratitude practice in one of the ways I mentioned above, or a different way, I invite you to pay attention to your day or the day after you practiced gratitude. When I try a new habit, I do my best to be consistent with this new habit, but when I miss a day rather than being upset with myself, I move into curiosity.
What do you notice about yourself when you practiced gratitude vs. the days you didn't? Did something feel different?
Did you feel more focused? Did you feel more positive? Do you have more energy? Did you sleep better at night? If nothing changes, let it go. But if you notice a shift in the way you experience life, in your ability to deal with challenges and even experience more joy, maybe it's a new routine you can add to your life.
Thanks for watching. If you liked this video and would like to keep going Beyond with your leadership, please follow me @noaRcoach, subscribe to my YouTube channel, and check out my Beyond Blog here www.noaronencoaching.com