Transcript
Sheryl Sandberg, the COO of Facebook, invited us to lean in. I challenge you to lean back. When we lean back, we create Space to think better and be better listeners.
Hey, I am Noa Ronen and I'm an executive coach. And I work with executives, leaders, and founders like you to go beyond. So let's go.
Slack, WhatsApp, Google Chat, Twitter, LinkedIn, Instagram, text messages, remote school, workout, healthy food. That's a lot.
I don't have time to think.
I am reactive all the time.
I am tactical instead of being a strategic thinker.
Being an executive and leader and human, in general, these days is not easy. There is so much noise. From back-to-back meetings all day long, from 7 am to 7 pm. And questions for the different channels, we don't have time to think anymore.
There is too much noise.
Noise, it seems that we don't know how to sit still anymore and be with the quiet.
Think about it. When you sit in the meeting room with peers or your direct reports and you ask a question and there is that awkward silence in the room, someone will jump right away if it's not you to save the day and say something.
When you sit with your direct reports or peers and you ask them if they have an idea how to solve the problem, and they say, "Well, I don't know." Most of us have the tendency right away to jump up with solutions, rather than giving them a moment to process and find the solutions on their own. So lean back.
Leaning back is not just to create Space for you to think. Leaning back is also for the people you work with. When you lean back, you take a moment to reflect and learn what worked and what didn't work. When you lean back, you talk less and you listen more. When you lean back, you have time to look beyond the little things and think beyond your frame.
Do you need a moment, a reminder how to lean back? It's actually pretty simple. All you need is a chair of your preference. It can also be a sofa, and something you can to put your feet on. It's great.
So let's do it together. I'm going to count down. 3,2, 1. Lean back.
Actually, it feels really good. You can see more when you lean back.
Just lean back.
If you liked this video and you want to dig in to learn more about beyond leadership, please subscribe to this channel. (and share with your friends) Just here.
Article
Slack, Teams, WhatsApp, google chat, emails, Facebook, Instagram, LinkedIn, text messages, zoom, zoom, zoom.
You must speak up in meetings
You should be present with your people and stop multi-tasking
You should be less in the weeds and think more strategiclly
But how can you do that with the constant noise in the background????
So yes, I hear a lot from executive clients and leaders words like: overwhelmed, busy but excited, stressed, and even burnout. And that’s before we even started to talk about life, or promotion or an organizational change.
It made me think about Space; today I learned that there was no space in between words many years ago. Only in the 7th-century were people introduced to commas and periods. For leaders to think, be present, and be more strategic, they have to create Space to think. Not just for themselves but also others.
Leaders need Space to think about questions like what is their leadership purpose? Or who are the people they need for their team, and what strengths do they have? Or what can make their teamwork more innovative or scalable, or efficient? Or why something they tried to influence didn’t work? Or what brings frustration?
Space
Leaders need Space to help their people grow.
When they learn to listen without interrupting, they can ask questions instead of giving answers.
When the leader creates Space for questions, they help their people share what they need and how they need it, and mostly the need is not for the leader to solve the problem.
Space allows both sides to process without rushing it.
In big meetings, Space creates room for everyone to share and engage.
When there is no space, mostly, one person is speaking and sucking the energy in the room.
1. Lean Back in meetings.
Some of us speak too much in meetings. Lean back. Let others talk. Ask the questions, and be curious to listen to what people answer. When people don’t answer, count to ten and then count again. The problem is that we are expected to answer questions fast in today's world and be reactive. So many times when we have asked a question, the mental inner experience whispers if I don’t have an answer right away, it means that “I don’t know,” but most people have the answers; they just need a little more time to – think.
For that, we need Space.
2. Lean back when they ask you questions
Our ego loves when people come to us for answers. It feels good.
But remember, the more you give people the answers, the more they will lean on you.
The higher you go, the more you will need to delegate.
Help your team to feel comfortable sitting with the “I don’t knows,” and create Space by a few simple questions like: “what do you think?” or “how would you approach it?” or “who do you think can be a good resource to learn more about this topic?”
This is a good skill for your team to learn how to find the answers independently.
3. Listening with curiosity
One of the best ways of leaning back is listening by asking questions.
Questions create Space for you to listen to how your people think.
Questions create Space for you to listen to what your people never shared with you.
Questions create Space for them to talk and for you to learn more about what they know, what their strengths are, and maybe areas they need coaching, mentoring, or professional development.
The problem is that when we shift to listening and asking questions, the voice inside us wants others to follow our solutions and show others that we are right. When the questions we ask lack curiosity, we ask questions that focus on leading others to the “right solution” we have in mind. What can we do?
Let go of our right solution. Let go of the answer.
The focus is not on the right solution but on learning how your people think and helping them find solutions on their own.
Leaning back, listening, asking questions, and being comfortable
with moments of quiet not only help you slow down and have focus time to think they also help your team think.
So lean back.
Welcome to my project 21 X 21
21 videos I filmed in 2021
Why? Because it was covid and most of us were still in pretty much of a remote life, I needed a challenge that would inspire me to stay creative and stretch myself.
In the past few years, I collected a list of topics from my conversations with my leader and executive clients. The topics that I could see that when we discuss their eyes spark, and something clicks. So maybe I can expand it beyond the 1:1 or group conversation? This brought me to a project of 21 videos, So hopefully, you will find value in those short videos, and if you do – please share with that one friend (or more) that can get value from them too. Thanks!!
Cheers
Noa