What's going on?
This morning when I drove I suddenly got scared... what if I don't like coffee anymore?
If you know me, you know how much I love coffee. But in the last few weeks, it is as my body says "Nope! I don't feel like it" so I drink tea. In the last few years, I took myself on a mindfulness journey where I pay better attention to what I eat. For example, I was not always a fan of my lunch meals, so when I finished feeling unsatisfied with what I ate, it triggered a want to eat as compensation. I wouldn't be aware before of this behavior until I started listening to my body and providing it with meals that satisfy it, then I didn't need to think about it anymore. Each time I am amazed by how easy it is to shift into an autopilot mode with the actions I take and the thoughts I have. But come on! No more Coffee for me? Could it be that my body is telling me it needs a break for good? Stay tuned!
Oh! and for the adventurers in the room, you have to try this coffee idea with mint drops and Himalayan salt. So good! Check it here.
What I am Thinking about...
Balance and Rainbows?
A few days ago I connected with my night owl and allowed myself a late night work. If you are a night owl like me, you love the unique silence of the nights when everyone is sleeping. A few years ago, I decided to change my daily routine and decided to go to sleep in a reasonable hour and wake up very early in the morning. I let my clients know that they can book early morning sessions working and spent some time on a morning routine. My morning routine which includes meditation, journaling, praying and if I have the time, I will go out for a run and then write my daily goals for the day. Yes... mostly it is not as perfect as I want it to be, but I am aiming to start my days this way since it allows me to be focused and achieve much more. Before this new daily routine, I would be very scattered along the day and then do everything from 11:00 PM - 2:30 AM I was killing it (and myself).
Still, once in a while I still have a need to treat myself on late night work and a few days ago I treated myself again. One of my goals is to finish my first crappy book draft by March 3rd - it is a nice date to set up as a due date for a goal.
So while I was sitting in my office and writing about the topic of balanced leadership for my book, suddenly, I has a poetic inspiration; could it be that faked balance is like the rainbow? How many times you heard your friends, spouse, people at work saying to you: "Oh! I wish I had more balance in my life." Like the rainbow, balance is also beautiful, but you can't touch it. Like the rainbow that needs the rain and sun be at the right angle to show up, the same is with balance. Here is my little secret, the real balance is not about wanting to have balance, it is about making HARD CHOICES. Hard choices of what you keep in your life and what you let go of, the problem is that we want to keep everything and then everything falls apart. Like me in the supermarket getting inside to buy just one thing without my cart, and a few minutes after I realize that I have too many things in my hand and I add one more thing everything will fall off my hands. So take a paper and write down everything you have right now in your life - I call it brain dump. Step two: choose, decide what you keep and what you let go of, at least for now. The rest? It will have to wait.
My Most Watched Video Last Month
on Social Media
One of my most watched videos in February was an inspirational short about Taking Risks
As much as I enjoy speaking at Toastmasters and test materials for my talks in conferences and other events, I felt that there is something I am doing or being that limited my ability to be funny and just BE me. I felt disconnected, and it took me a while to identify that it is the result of the way I rehearse for my speeches. I was overdoing rehearsals the speech had to be perfect, no notes no mistakes. Every time I aim for perfection I kill the funny me and I had to bring her back. I missed her and the connection it brought me with the audience. So I decided to take a risk and rehearse half the time and be okay that I might not be as ready. It worked. I was funny again, and I could sense how free I felt on stage.
Click here to check out the video
For more inspirational shorts/on the run videos check my Instagram account and follow me @NoaRCoach
My Interview with Startup Plan it
I am excited to share my interview with Startup Plan-It as their featured entrepreneur!
Startup Plan-It is a program for startup entrepreneurs. To learn more about this program, and check out my interview, read here.
Monthly Short - About Escape Rooms, Being Lost and Awareness with Kids
What I am Thinking about...
This week I am thinking about Escape Rooms
Last week was my older son’s 16th birthday. Sweet sixteen to him! He decided to let go of the pink dress and tiara and we invited a few of his friends to an “Escape Room” experience.
If you haven’t been to an escape room, the idea is that a group of 4-10 people gets into a room and they have 60 minutes to achieve a task. The tasks include solving different puzzles that give you codes to open safes and locks with more clues. The final mission is to find the code that will set you free and out of the room before the clock strikes upon the hour. Beyond the main goal, you get no clues; you need to search for clues and find the connections, or the patterns to solve the unknown mystery. There are moments where everyone works separately trying to figure out the next step, while there are moments when everyone gathers together to figure out how all the clues they have can take them to the next step. There is a lot of pressure, there are moments when everyone is not even sure what they are doing, or what they are looking for, but this is what I call "the beauty of being lost." In moments when you feel lost, when there is no way but to survive, this is when you allow yourself to make mistakes. This is the moment of truth, the moment when you know you have mainly two options: live or die. For some people, the escape room, as a metaphor, is the moment of choice between life and death, a life or death of a business, relationships, career, or other.
It sounds dramatic, but figuratively, some people in the escape room choose death, they stand there without doing anything, they lost hope. On the other hand, others who choose to "stay alive" will try whatever they can to find clues and believe that they can beat the clock. Even though there is stress, there is something else that opens up, and that’s the freedom to make mistakes which invites creativity and even innovation, no more perfection or procrastination lead their way. That is where people allow themselves to what I call: “get messy,” to experiment until they figure out what's next.
Back to the escape room, while my son and his friends were still in the escape room, I noticed that all the people who left their escape rooms were smiling. They figured it out; they allowed themselves to play, to be free, to experiment and not perfect and they figured it out. That is the same smile I have when new clients tell me "I am lost" I know that soon creativity and experimentation will show up. So remember, there is beauty in being lost.
Conscious Kids
Being a parent in the Fortnite and YouTube age is not an easy task. It seems as our kids shifted too fast from cable TV to YouTube. I realize more and more that I will not be able to fight the screens, so what I can do is be the tour guide that will remind my kids that there is a world out there. Inviting my son to celebrate his birthday in an escape room was my silent invitation without lecturing, nor telling him that there is a world outside to remember that when we play with people face to face there is a connection and there is a joy. The boys' smiles under their teenage mustache when they left the room, Priceless!
Priceless #2
My husband also celebrates his birthday in January. Rather than buying gifts we don't need (who said Marie Condo???) my husband asked to celebrate with a family experience where we all do something we enjoy together. This year I called my beloved friends and cheerful soul, Elizabeth Galecke to the rescue. Elizabeth is a photographer that a few years ago started the #eyeswideopen movement. She reminds us through her photography while she goes on her daily walks to look around and pay attention. I asked her if she can take our family on a one-hour photography class to notice our world differently with eyes wide open.
We met Elizabeth in downtown Raleigh and she helped us look around differently: rusty stains, shades, patterns, what can we see from a window, all the little things we never have the time or want to notice. Yes, we all had our iPhones including the kids, but we used them to create awareness. It was an hour of connection with the surrounding and with each other. My daughter told me after that it was an hour of slowing down without anyone rushing her or expecting her to create in a specific way. Definitely priceless.
Click here to watch some of the photos we took during our family experience.
Check here to attend Elizabeth's Eyes Wide Open Exhibition in February 2019
What I am listening to
Writing a book, this is a journey for sure. I am glad to report that I have discovered how to find joy with sitting almost every day and writing, rather than being in the struggle.
So... while writing I need some music and in the background. In the last few days, I listen to Beck's Album "Colors". If you like Beck or alternative music check it out. Wow! is my favorite song from the album. Check the video clip it is really cool.
My Most Watched Video this Month
One of my most watched videos this month is when I asked people to STOP, stop doing what everyone else is doing, stop settling for the norms and find their way to do things. Listen to the Queen of different, it is okay to DO YOU.
Check my Instagram one minute video here
Monthly Short - New Year and Dessert
What I am Thinking about...
The New Year, Dah....
We returned from Las Vegas yesterday, and it made me think that the coach work is very similar to the Uber/Lyft/Taxi drivers. We knew where we wanted to go, we even had a car, but who wants to drive to the strip and find parking? Not us... So we called an Uber Driver. This is what I do, I help people to get from where they are to where they want to go. The only thing that might be different is that you don't need to speak with an Uber driver.
Anyway.... New Year, New Goals, Resolution, One Word for the year. This is all so stressful. Everyone one around sending emails to my inbox with how I need to renew myself and become successful and work to become a better self, and it is just... exhausting, and stressful and... maybe for some it works well, but maybe, if I can suggest to train yourself to work on long-term progress, rather than waiting for the New Year to start?
Especially after this holiday season, with packages all over the place and Amazon prime drivers, and FedEx and UPS everywhere... I believe we became the Amazon Prime generation. We get used to getting things at our front door in two days or less, and if it takes longer we get restless. But you know what? it takes time to create a change. Maybe the New Year is a good place to start, but I dare you to look beyond the two weeks of changing something in your life, even 30 days... take it to the long run. Ask yourself, what is it that I want to change that can stay with me for years?
What inspired me this month?
The Dessert. Raising the kids in New York city made our traveling life and our move to North Carolina very challenging. For our kids, many cities and the living in North Carolina itself feels like the desert. My husband and I thought that if this is what our teenage kids think maybe we can plan a revenge trip and take them to a real desert? We tried the desert in Israel a few years ago but they stayed in the car. It was just too hot. So they had no excuses when we traveled to Las Vegas at Christmas. Not only that, we made sure to take them to the Death Valley. Who can enjoy a death valley? My teenage kids of course.
Yes, I am kidding, we knew it will be beautiful, walking in dunes, sand-rocks with different colors, salt lake? It was heaven. I love the desert. As a college girl I used to take school kids to hike in the Israeli desert and that's when I realized how much beauty and magic you can find in this yellowish scenic. I didn't realize until our move to North Carolina how much nature is important to me. You see, not like us, nature is always present. Think about your dog, when you come back home it smiles at you, they are present with you (okay, maybe they think future forward about the food you will give them, although that might be more of a cat thing?) but really animals are always present, they don't have a destination point or goals. Their goal is to live. So this where I am going to contradict some of what I have written in my first paragraph and invite you to be in nature and forget about your future. Enjoy the colors, enjoy the greatness of nature and the quiet it can bring to your head/life/career/relationships.
My Most Watched Video this Month
I stopped my car to touch the snow. It was after being 3 days in the house and having the cabin fever. Check my video here.
Monthly Short - Butterflies
Can I be honest and share that I edited this part more than a few times? It reminded me of a situation I had a few years ago when I was not able to write even one single word. I was so frustrated and tried different ways to understand how can I get out of this mess. For years I dragged myself in circles because I believed “my English is not good enough,” but my ah-ha moment was when I learned that my overachiever didn’t approve any of my writing, even before I put anything on paper. My thoughts defeated me even before I actually put any word on the paper. But by acknowledging that it is not others’ approval I am searching for but my consent, something interesting/weird happened; I was able to write! Not only that I was able to write, but I could also sense it internally, It was as I have had little butterflies in me, the butterflies got excited when they liked what I was writing about. So now when the butterflies say yes, I can keep going with this email. Hence the glass of red wine was helpful too... :-)
My Most Watched Video Last Month
On social media
One of the most watched videos I posted in November was an inspirational short about kindness. It was Monday and also the world Kindness day. I wanted to invite us all to bring attention to the people around us and do something kind. Many studies show that being kind to others, as well as to yourself can make you feel better, especially if your health is not where you want it to be. When we are kind to others, we shift our attention from our worry and frustration to focus our thinking on someone else. There is no need for big projects to be kind, the simpler you make it, the more you will do it.
December can be very stressful for many people, so find a moment to be kind to self or to others.
Click here to check out the video - it is only 1 minute.
For more 1-minute inspirational shorts/on the run videos check my Instagram account and follow me @NoaRCoach
Monthly Shorts - FAITH
What I am Thinking about...
I am thinking a lot about faith. A few years ago I read the book "Think and Grow Rich" written by Napoleon Hill, if you haven't read this book yet, do yourself a favor and read it. I believe it is the bible or foundation of any other business book out there, period. Napoleon Hill wrote this book during the depression time learning from the people who succeed during that time and explains the road to success in a way that not many books were able to add on to his core ideas.
Anyway, one of the main cornerstones that are mentioned in this book is FAITH. That moment that you keep trusting yourself when everyone around you think that you are crazy, or any other word you want to add to the list. Now, a little background, my parents grew up in a Kibbutz in Israel, which means that as a child our family didn't give too much attention to religion or faith. It is not just me, it is most of the people around me who grew up this way. When I read Napoleon Hills Book it made me think a lot about faith and what does it mean to me, but I could sense how uncomfortable I am. I became curious about "that place" where you truly believe that what you are creating and the path you chose are meaningful. I thought I understand it. But today during my run, while looking at the trees and cars and the still water and the leaves I realized that in 2018 I learned to understand faith. You see I took an oath this year to believe in what others still can't. Sometimes we can see for others what they cannot see for themselves. So many times in my life people were able to see the spark in me when I was still too messy to see it myself. They called on me and asked me to show up. But sometimes people are not even ready to be called on, and that's okay, all we can do is believe that they will, one day. Some of you might be way way ahead of me in this game of faith. It is okay, I am where I am. What I do know, is faith is not an uncomfortable word for me anymore. I say that Faith it that quiet moment that makes you feel at peace.
7 Reasons Why Networking Can Work for You
“Have you considered Networking?” How many of you made the same face my clients or others make when I ask them this question?
I know, I know, there are rare people, somewhat like the lions in the savannah that when I ask the Networking question answer with joy and spark in the eyes: “I love networking, bring it on!” Yes, there are a few of those, but many people do not enjoy networking.
In this article, I would like to invite you to consider a new way of approaching networking. A new intention to how you approach networking if I can suggest.
A few weeks ago one of my clients burst into a long monologue about how much they hate networking. Hate it with passion. I get it. Believe me, I do. I didn’t like to network too and I am an extrovert…Here are the main buts I hear again and again from people and how you can overcome them.
“But I am an introvert…”
Most people who don’t like to network feel that networking is about a shallow conversation, and if you are one of the people who define themselves or the assessment defines you as an introvert you probably will say: “But I am an introvert, I am just not good with networking.”
If you have no idea what is all the introversion extroversion conversation let me sum it up. Introverts are the ones who get energy from being alone and take time for internal processing before they talk, while extroverts get energy from being with others and process their thoughts while talking out loud. Now, some people got this all introvert idea wrong, introverts are not shy people, many of them are leaders and speaker. I see the difference between the introverts and extroverts as energy. Extroverts get energy from being with others while extroverts give to others their energy. What it means is that if you are an introvert, it is not that you are bad at networking, you just need to take time afterward to be alone and recharge since you gave a lot of your energy to others.But I don’t like the feeling of selling myself
When I started my coaching business I remember telling others that there is a big distinction between selling a product or service of others you believe in and selling yourself to others. This is an experience people have when they seek a job or when they need to sell their services as the owners and soulpreneur.
When we enter a room with this mindset and the assumption that what we need to focus on is selling ourselves we feel uncomfortable. But here is one of the most important points I have learned from people who are successful in networking.
The people who are successful in networking don’t sell ANYTHING when they talk with you they focus on listening to you so they can bring YOU value. So focus on having a conversation and get to know the other person., get curious about them, ask them questions and if you listen well you will also be able to bring them value.But if I listen and ask questions how can others know what I do or looking for?
Before I answer this question, let me ask you another question (this is what coaches do very well). When you come to a networking event or a meeting with another person, and the person who you are meeting with is talking about themselves for a big portion of the meeting, how does it feel?
When I ask these questions in a big room, I always get the same answers:I feel unheard and invisible.
I think that they are using me to get what they want, but they don’t care about me.
They only care about their pitch they don’t care about people.
In the end, we all want others to listen to our wants and needs. We want to be seen, be heard, and acknowledged. Challenge yourself to keep asking questions until you learn something interesting about them and maybe even to identify what are the points that connect the two of you. This is a good way to share your story from their needs and create a deeper connection that brings value to both sides.
But I am better at one-on-one meetings
Exactly! I am better with one on one conversations too. And this is also your goal at networking events: to identify the people at the networking event that you would like to meet with them afterward. because from what you have learned about them you can bring value to each other and even form partnerships. And yes! at times you will choose to meet just because you felt there is more to the conversation even though you know right now nothing will get out of it more than friendship, but friends can become your best referrals in the long term. Remember, networking is a long term game, don’t play the short run.But if I spend so much time with a few people how can I reach as many as possible so they can help me?
In the end, no one will help you if they don’t know you. People help people they know and trust. It is rare for a stranger to help you find a job, or support your business if they don’t know you. Ask yourself how likely are you to recommend someone on your running group who you meet and chat with twice a week vs. a person you met for a quick 5 minutes’ conversation in a networking event? This is why I teach my clients to attend the same groups consistently. There are many groups you can join or volunteer with; Meet Up is a great place to find your people. If you like to workout find a workout group if you have a hobby join a group of people who share your passion. If you have the time I would suggest volunteering with an organization, there is no better way to get to know people and leaders in the organization and your community than volunteering with a committee, the board, or other projects. As I mentioned earlier, networking is a long-run game, people who know you, see you every week and feel as you invested in them will invest in you and help you when the day comes because they know you, not because they met you once. Remember when you enter a networking event it is not about being a social butterfly; leaving with the largest number of business cards or meeting the most people in the room will not give you an advantage. On the contrary, it will harm you. What will bring value is your willingness to focus on giving value to others.But it is tiring for me to meet so many people.
If the idea of meeting so many people in a networking event sounds daunting, exhausting, and frustrating, here is a tip I share with my clients and my audience: “There is no networking police in networking events.” Let me suggest a different approach, rather than meeting all the people in the room and having short and non-meaningful conversations, go into a room and find one or two people that you can have a deep and meaningful conversation. After you had that experience, if you feel that your energy is low, go.
Yes, I give you permission to go.
Remember, no one is there to report your short attendance or how many people you met.But I don’t need it I work in the same company for so many years…
And one day you won’t, or you will not want to work in that company anymore. Here is the deal, finding a job is first and foremost about connections, whether if it is for a new opportunity in the company you work or in another organization. If we don’t take time to invest in these relationships when the day comes we will find that opportunities go to the peers that invested their time in networking with other leaders and members in the organization and beyond. Again - people help, support, refer people they know and trust if people don’t know you and trust you inside or outside the organization they will need to refer you, or introduce you or advocate for your success. Don’t wait like many of my clients until it is too late, it is NEVER too late to network even if you work in a company; Volunteer inside your company to support an initiative of interest, volunteer as a board member in an organization of interest or a professional association, join a mastermind group or join a group that can help you work on your skills like ‘toastmasters club’ (a speaking club). There are many ways to network even when you work full time.
You can see that there are many buts, but I believe and also see from the conversations with my clients and groups that the more they work on the muscle of networking the more energy they have to network with people. The more they network with the focus in mind on bringing value to others, the more opportunities and relationships they see for themselves and beyond.