Four and a Half Birthday Shorts
I celebrated my 45 birthday last week I decided that August shorts will be only four and a half. One short for each decade in my life.
Short 1 - My Younger Self
We all have inside us a part of our younger self. I protected her for many years, I was afraid that if I let her go she will not be safe. She was locked, by my mature self who protected her. I had to set her free. It didn’t make sense when I learned that one of my core values is freedom. She became my captain, she stands with her arms open as wide as possible, embracing what’s next. She taught me with a huge smile of freedom on her face to make courageous choices so I can walk my talk free of my own limitations and then she left, she said I can do it on my own.
Who is your younger self?
What role the younger self has in your life? I had to change her role and set her free and she set me free.
Short 2 - 24
When I got pregnant with my first son, something weird happened, the nurse asked me how old I am and I couldn't remember. I looked at my husband and he answered - 27. After that day no matter who asked me for my age my answer was: 24. The little seed in my womb who became my analytical son couldn’t understand how can I keep answering the same age for so many years? it just didn't make any sense to him. With his outstanding mathematical skills, he tried to bring sense, to convince me that staying 24 for so many years is not possible, but even he had to give up to my own sense and perseverance.
Yet, on my 40th birthday, something shifted. I decided to embrace my age in a triable manner through a drum circle with my tribe. I transitioned from 24 to 40 and was ready to say goodbye as quick as possible to my thirties.
Going through a transition in your life? Don’t ignore it and move on quickly.
Our western world is urging us to skip important life moments too quickly. Take a moment to create the space to say hello and goodbye (or goodbye and then hello - depends on the transition) to people and/or events in your life and you will find that it is easier than ignoring them and feeling no joy.
Short 3 - Seven Bad Years
I had seven bad years. They were not dark but challenging, not sad or bad, but there was also not too much joy, they were mostly a phase where I couldn’t feel happy. My focus in those seven years was on how can I have what I don’t have rather than acknowledging what I do have. I was distracted.
One of the things that pulled me out of this state –– without even knowing –– was my ability to stop focusing on myself and start giving to others as a volunteer in my community and just being kind. Smiling to a distracted person at the supermarket or letting a rushing one go before me in the supermarket line, I can wait. I was intentional to shift my focus.
A Keeper – a Dali Lama Quote about Happiness:
“Our ultimate aim in seeking more is a sense of satisfaction, of happiness. But the very basis of seeking more is a feeling of not having enough, a feeling of discontentment. That feeling of discontentment, of wanting more and more and more, doesn’t arise from the inherent desirability of the objects we are seeking but rather from our own mental state.” ~ Dalai Lama
Short 4 - Control
I wanted to control my daughter’s health until she asked me to surrender. She asked me to let her figure out her path. She is almost sixteen and she is wiser than my adult self. That was the beginning of a spiritual path that my daughter opened up the door for me to explore.
I had to learn how to not control what is not for me to control.
Praying
Every morning I start my day re-learning hope and saying thank you to what I do have in my life.
Short 4.5 - It is NOT the end line you need to focus on
“What was your success for this week?” this is the question Steven David Eliot, who is the founder of Rockstar Connect and the moderator of the weekly Rockstar Connect online events asks us, the panelists. The more I attended this panel as one of the panelists who answer this question, the more I find myself going to the simple moments with my family during this quarantine. For example, when my teenage daughter asked me to be my intern this Summer – if you live in the teenage world you know that kids this age don’t want to spend too much time with their parents. I truly enjoy our brainstorming conversations and her help with the executive coaching articles we added to my website this Summer.
My youngest son, Idan, started running with me and he was excited to co- vlog we call it: “On the Run with Idan.” Idan is a real inspiration, in one of our videos he explains what he meant when he said on one of our first runs: “Mom don't focus on the end line what’s important is the starting line.” What? I could not stop pondering about this sentence for the whole run - check out what Idan had to say about this topic - click here. Please follow us and share – Only on LinkedIn.
What was your success for this week?