Thank you for waiting for this letter to knock on your inbox door with the sneak peek to my book: BEyond Leadership from AwareLess to Awareness.
Thanksgiving - thanks and giving, two words that can go hand in hand or can feel to us as two separate entities.
One of the books that changed my perspective about giving and saying thank you is the book by Adam Grant Givers and Takers. It is as this book was written for me in a time where I felt frustration with a few people in my circle who only reached out when they needed something from me. I was never good about giving with limits; if you ask me a question or ask for a tip, I will answer, I am not afraid of sharing my knowledge or hold your hand quietly. Reframing who I am, a giver, helped me learn that people like me – especially when their profession is in the spectrum of giving, need more self-care. Running outdoors is my way to sure I take time to recharge and come back with the energy to keep giving. But here is the deal with Givers, we are not good with saying thank you. For Givers, it is easier to give than asking for help; we know that help will be followed by thanking. So we don’t ask. Not asking is safe; this way, we can avoid saying thank you.
This is why when you help a Giver you might find them get a bit awkward; they might say thank you and then text you with an additional thank you. The next day you might find flowers or a little gift on your desk, and sometimes Givers might go too far, as someone told me once: “Only you, Noa, can write a thank you note to my thank you note.”
Writing this book required me to work on the muscle of asking for help and saying thank you without being awkward about it more than once. Writing a book is always longer than you think it is going to take. As one of my wise friends told me this morning, writing a book is like a good old wine, you can’t rush the process; it takes time, but the taste is fantastic, and I promise that no thank you note will be followed by my thank notes anymore.
This Holiday Season, if you find it easy to give to everyone else, challenge yourself to ask for help and say thank you once and stop. STOP!
On the other hand, if you feel comfortable saying thanking others who care for you, help the awkward, clumsy Givers finding their voice and saying thank you, but only once! Then ask them to stop and move one. And if you appreciate them and they say: “oh! It’s nothing,” you know what to do, ask them to STOP.
Thank You and Happy Thanksgiving.