This article is posted a few days before we step into a new year, 2023.

Maybe you read this article as part of pondering your new year's development plan, or perhaps as part of deciding on your New Year's Resolution, or maybe it is not the beginning of the year, but you design new goals.  

When we step into a new year, we take a moment to reflect and ask ourselves: What is the change we want to create in this new beginning?

When we want to create a change, whether big or small, there might be that little voice, a very nagging voice and still very persistent, that will whisper in your head that action on this change might not be a good idea. 

"You are not good enough to create this change," it might say, or maybe this voice will ask you: "why bother? No one cares," or perhaps it will say: "Do you want to embarrass yourself? You are not ready yet! Make the change when you are REALLY ready. Start with more research and learning but not now – now is big! even huge mistake!!"

 In this article, we will meet this voice and learn how to identify it with us, when and why it shows up, and how we can address it when we feel this voice is taking over and we think we have lost power.

 Hi, I am Noa, and I work with leaders, executives, and founders of companies just like you to go BEyond with their leadership and their teams. Are you ready to learn more about the Saboteur's voice? Let's go!!

 

 

The word Saboteur comes from the French word sabotage, which is the purpose of this voice in our life – to sabotage our way from moving into new action or way of being when we want to create a change. Let's dive deep to get to know this little voice and understand when it likes to grow big in our minds and, if possible, to take over. 

 The Saboteur wants to keep the status quo, to keep you where you are, from moving forward. Because if you act on it, you might fail, get embarrassed, or, worst case scenario, people won't care. So the Saboteur's voice will tell you: "Let's stay here. Here it is safe."

And here is the thing, the more significant the change, the louder the voice of the Saboteur will be. Mainly the voice of the Saboteur will become louder when we want to design a change or already going through a transition. Promotion? Loud, New Relationship? Loud, Starting your own business? Loud, having a baby? Loud, Starting a new job? Loud, Speaking in an event/meeting? Launching your website/publishing a book? Loud, Using a new skill? Loud, Loud, Loud, and that drains your energy. You feel exhausted.

Check-in with yourself. From 1- 10, how loud is the voice of the Saboteur right now in your head?

 

 How do we learn to identify the voice of the Saboteur?

The Saboteur's voice is very repetitive; it sounds somewhat like a slogan; I broke them into three unique categories: 

1. "You are not good enough" - You don't have good enough skills, you're not smart enough, you're not talented enough, you don't have enough experience. The bottom line, you're not good enough. 

2. "Your work is not good enough" or "You are not there yet!" – this voice urges you to avoid embarrassment and keep learning, researching, not showing up in front of others in meetings or projects, and taking the lead. 

3. "Why even bother?" – no matter how much effort you put into it, people will not appreciate it anyway or see you, so come on! Why bother? Let's get some ice cream and binge on Gossip Girl... 

 I love Shirzad Chamine's extension of this idea that there is more than one voice; actually, we can identify a few other Saboteurs' voices with their persona, and by learning more about them, we can work to lower their volume.

Check out his TED talk about this topic and his assessment HERE. 

So what can we do about this voice? How can we get rid of this voice? That's a great question. 

I don't believe we can eliminate the Saboteur's voice, but I know from working on this area with hundreds of leaders that we can learn how to lower its volume. Here are a few ways to experiment with lowering the Saboteur's volume:

1. Get to know your Saboteur.

The first step is to create awareness by getting to know your Saboteur. Getting to know it means that your focus is to learn it AND NOT to try and fix the situation that it is with you.

Bring curiosity to learn your Saboteur:

What does it sound like? 

What does it say? 

When - in what situations do you notice the Saboteur shows up?

What pronoun it uses; he, she, it, they? For example, one of my clients calls his saboteurs "The Monkey." 

 Again, my invitation is, don't judge yourself when the Saboteur shows up. Stay curious rather than saying: why did it show up - again??? 

 Br playful and say: "Oh! The Saboteur is here! Interesting!!! I am wondering what made it show up right now?. What can I learn from us co-exist together in this moment." 

 

2. Be the Director of your mind. 

• The first step is to identify new voices that serve you.
  The Saboteur is not you; it is a voice in you. That's an important distinction. When the Saboteur is a voice in me, it is not all of me. When I am the Saboteur, I am getting in my way. 

  Now, as the Director of your mind, you have the control to add more voices. Voices that serve you. For example, The Motivator, The Cheerleader, The Wise one, The Compassionate, The Leader, The Visioner, and The Intuitive one. 

• The second step is to place those voices on your mind stage. 
  If your mind was a stage where each one of these voices is right now? Don't make it beautiful or what you want it to be; if your Saboteur is having the front of the stage, put it there. If your wise one is backstage, that is where it is right now. Be the Director of your mind.

• Move them around
  If you are the Director, you can choose where you want those voices to be. Where will you move each one, for example, if your Saboteur is at the front stage – where if at all, would you move it at? Who will you move to the front?
  We forget we can choose and create a new reality. It is in our power.

 3. Talk to it with supportive data.
Some Saboteur's voices don't exist well with data. With some of the leaders, I work we find data that the Saboteur cannot contradict, and it gets weaker and weaker.
For example: 

Leader": "All my leader-friends are so confident it seems like they are never stressed about anything I am not sure I deserve this new role." 

 Me: "How do you know? Did you ask them?"

Leader "No, I haven't."

 Me: "Would you be willing to ask one of them?"

 Leader: "yes there is a peer I can ask I am meeting with them tomorrow, I can ask them for sure."

Next session:" So I spoke with my peer, they said they are very surprised with my question, they were sure I am never stressed I look so calm to them, it was so funny to realize they see me the same way I see all my peers. Apparently we are all good at hiding stress."

Me: "Hmmm how is your saboteur doing right now?"

Leader: "I don't think it is even here with us, I think it took a nap or something…."

4. Ask for support

 In moments where everything we try is not working, and we feel powerless, we can start by reaching out and asking for support from the people in our life who can remind us that we are resourceful and empower us to see our strengths.

Reach out to your friends, your mentor, a coach, or even your manager to be reminded of the moments you were resourceful and overcame challenges and obstacles to become a better version of yourself. 

 

 Remember! the Saboteur's role is to keep you where you are, to keep you "safe" from their perspective. You can reach out internally or externally for a new view from new voices that can serve you better. 

 Who is the internal or external voice you will reach out to in those moments?

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